Shark in the Leaf
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: The Three tails was tired of being used. Magic didn't want it's savior to grow up in a house where it could die from neglect. And someone needed to give the Fox kid a reason to hope. Magic and chakra combine to create one of the most deadly water users in the Elemental countries and the one who abandoned Haru on that doorstep is going to pay.
1. Chapter 1

It all started with a boy...

(Wait, scratch that. We all know about the kid who defeated a dark lord without actually doing a damn thing, so why not skip that whole bit, eh? If you haven't heard his story directly from the book or at least read thousands of similar variations, then clearly you are just now getting addicted to fanfiction.)

In an effort to avoid his idiotic relatives who shouldn't have been a hundred feet near him because of a conniving old goat who should have really known better or at least listened to someone who _isn't_ senile as him, his magic took him far far away...

How far you ask?

Try past a veil no one remembers and is quite happy to have nothing to do with wizards and their ingrained stupidity.

It was a world of shinobi, demons and general insanity. I am talking of course, about the wonderful insane world of Naruto. (Anko and Gaara are GODS. You must submit!)

* * *

The Sanbi was pissed. The old geezer who controlled his last host had found him, and was sure to make a very good effort to control his next one, if he hadn't forced them to use another Anti-Kekkei Genkai idiot like Yagura.

He didn't have any issues with Kekkei Genkai (hard to have one when your creator did and you actually _liked_ him) but the whole prejudice out of jealousy bit was old. And he really, _really_ didn't want to be in another brat with dreams of grandeur.

So it came as a surprise when an almost toddler appeared out of nowhere in front of him, and for some reason wasn't being affected by his youki. Hell, the kid was still sleeping!

So he careful moved his tail towards the brat, and quickly reeled back.

The kid was a madoushi, which hadn't been seen since the Sage's time! What was he doing here?!

An idea occurred to him, one that amused him greatly. If he couldn't avoid the monster that corrupted his last host, then he could still keep the humans from using him again.

It was a little shared secret that the tailed demons could shift their forms. They didnt like using it because doing so meant they had to work at discovering their abilities in the new form.

Their previous forms would remain, but they would be little more than balls of negative energy. They would have no memories or power over their summon set.

Nearly two days later, the three tail demon shrugged off it's previous form and examined the new one. It had been chosen for him by the child right outside the barrier.

It didn't know what this form was, only that the creature was ancient and powerful. The fins were irritating, but nothing it couldn't handle. The only thing that annoyed it was the fact that the creature was strictly water based, and would have great difficulty attacking on land.

However what it lacked in ability to move on land, it made up in sheer power and deadliness.

The only variation that the Sanbi had to the actual creature was an extra fin on it's tail. Little more than an odd growth really, because this creature was definitely the perfect aquatic killer.

The child giggled when it saw him, and even reached a pudgy hand out to the demon.

Which meant he wasn't afraid. Good.

Now for the hard part. The humans thought that the only way to contain a bijuu was to seal it away behind their constructs. This was only _half_ right. What the measly monkeys didn't know was that a demon like him could be contained without a seal...so long as they chose the vessel.

But years of sealing him and the others into humans against their will had caused the demons to try avoid being sealed altogether. The humans believed themselves superior to the demons and their vessels were even worse.

He carefully touched the child, the fin was as rough as the bark on the trees. The child giggled, and reached out to tough the fin. It seemed to go all too slowly, but in reality it took only an hour...and he was inside the child.

The boy had amazing reserves of natural magic...and thanks to him would have higher than average chakra reserves. He could supplant the boy's mind and take over, but that could prove to be a bad idea later.

Especially if that _man_ appeared again. He didn't want to be controlled like that twice.

Once the sealing was finished, he found his vessel to be comfortable, very comfortable indeed. It seemed without the seal holding him back, he actually had room to move around. Now, to insure the child would survive...

Tapping into the child's natural reserves, he used the boy's magic to teleport them someplace where he would be trained.

A few hours later someone finally found him and took him in. It would be years before anyone realized that the mass of chakra left behind by the transformation and sealing wasn't the real bijuu, and by that time it would already be too late to do anything about it.

* * *

Yuki sat on the branch, above the river. It had been five years ago that he had been found by his master, Kisame. When asked why he took the infant in to be trained as his apprentice, Kisame would always mentions the child's strangely large chakra reserves. So far, his decision had proven to be a smart one.

Yuki was at the top of his classes, both in skill and intelligence. His only failing was the fact that he had a soft heart when it came to others his age.

Unlike everyone else in his class, he didn't actually hate the kekkei genkai users. He honestly could care less about them, unless they were so mad that they _had_ to be taken down.

Which was probably why he shared his lunch with a street urchin he found who didn't have a name. He couldn't tell whether it was a boy or girl, but he could sense that the kid had an active kekkei genkai.

The kid, once he/she got used to his presence and the fact that he honestly could care less about his ability, got used to his presence. Yuki actually liked them enough to claim that the kid was his best friend. He (he was just going to assume the kid was a boy) actually listened to him and his complaints about Kisame not letting him near his sword Samehada, despite all evidence that he wouldn't be harmed by it.

(For reasons unknown, Samehada never tried to leech his chakra, and even let Yuki hold it without trying to shred his hand. It baffled Kisame, but he never allowed him near the sword or even use it.)

Today was the day that he would take the graduation exam. It had been changed ten years ago so they wouldn't have to kill their dorm mate.

Yuki had shocked the hell out of his Master by thanking Zabuza for killing his classmates ten years ago. Zabuza had laughed his ass off when he saw the look on Kisame's face.

Yuki got off the branch and dropped to the water below. He had learned how to water walk when he was six. It didn't help that Kisame had thrown real kunai at him so that he could run and dodge on water as if he were on land.

For some strange reason, he felt more at home on the water. He took to walking on it like it was breathing, which pleased Kisame to no end.

But that was nothing compared to how he swam. It was something of a shock to the man that Yuki could swim faster than he could under water! And he had no issues breathing underwater for some reason.

Yuki ran to his dorm to get ready for the graduation ceremony. Unlike the other students, Yuki was an unofficial hunter nin. He had been since last year when the head of the kekkei genkai hunters started taking him to kill the cursed blood in nearby villages.

* * *

Yuki had killed at least five kekkei genkai carriers...but he never regretted it because the people he killed were beyond saving. Their madness made them a danger to everyone near them. Yuki was a master of silent killing, which was why he observed his targets before attacking.

It had already been a year since Yuki had graduated at top of his class, and he already had ten kills to his name. Most of them were of the cursed blood who went mad. He even had a bounty to his kill credit. It was a small one, but it was still impressive.

He walked into his small bathroom, prepared to wash the blood off. Kisame hadn't let him neglect his sword training, despite the fact that Yuki had become a hunter. It was no small feat that Yuki could beat a chunin ten years older than him using only kenjutsu.

As he passed his small mirror, he noticed something odd. Wondering what was different, he looked closer...and reeled back in shock.

His eyes, which were deep emerald in color, looked like he was a blind man! The veins around his eyes were bulging, and he could see the chakra in his body moving. It was highly unnerving.

Looking at his hands, he could see tiny pinpricks of chakra that never moved, but rather pulsed in a regular manner.

He had unlocked a kekkei genkai that he didn't know he had! This was beyond disastrous!

It took him a good ten minutes to figure out that he had to stop the chakra from being channeled into his eyes in order for them to go back to normal. But now that he knew about his bloodline limit, he had to leave Kiri...at least as long as the whole cursed blood lies were still around.

But he couldn't leave his home without setting the groundwork for survival.

The only good thing about this whole mess was that he had an advantage over the other kekkei genkai users.

He knew how the hunters were trained. And he had almost full access to chunin and above jutsu thanks to Kisame. He had given him full access to the jounin library and the people knew that he had the reserves to actually _use_ the jutsu in there.

Yuki had discovered an odd talent he had. If he touched a jutsu and then a blank scroll, he could copy whatever was written on the first. While odd, most people were willing to believe it was because of his odd chakra. He normally used it on seals to use later.

Which was why, once he found out that he had a bloodline, he immediately started preparing to abandon Kiri.

First thing he needed to do was plan an escape route. Despite his age, he more or less worked alone because of his ability to hold his breath indefinitely underwater, which was how he killed his targets.

It was relatively easy to plan a visible escape route (which he would leave plenty of marks to make people think that was the route he took) and the one he would actually take.

Yuki was a water/earth type user. Water came as no surprise, but the earth had. He had studied how to move in the earth like he did the water, and it took him a year to pull it off. He was completely invisible whenever he did it.

His second task was to copy as many jutsu as he could. Fortunately it wasn't out of character for him to check out tons of scrolls only to return them a week later. Or to be seen trying them out on the lake. Kisame was big on training yourself when he didn't want you.

His third task was to pack enough survival gear to make it outside of the Land of Water. Thanks to his training, he could tell poisonous plants from safe ones. And he could catch more fish than anyone in Kiri ever could. (Not to mention the fact that he learned how to cook when he was five, and was the one who prepared almost all the food for Kisame and himself.)

His last task, which could easily get him killed, was to take his friend with him. He wasn't going to leave the only person he considered a friend to die by the other hunters.

* * *

It was time. Exactly one year after unlocking his bloodline limit by accident in his bathroom, he was ready to abandon his home. The risks were simply too great for him to stay, especially since he worked alongside the largest supporters of the purge.

He went to the bridge where his friend had started to hang out more and more often...and watched as a Jounin who recently went rogue took his friend away. He could tell that the boy would be safe, because Zabuza was never one of those people who believed in the purge to begin with.

Safe in the knowledge that his friend would at least be safe from the purge, he made his way to his escape route. He hadn't left a notice of his defection, but he had left a large mess that would take several days to clean up. His destruction of the Hunter headquarters was sure to keep them busy long enough to leave the Land of Water and into the Land of Fire.

* * *

_Several Weeks Later..._

Yuki was tired, and planned to find a safe place to camp underground for the night. Ever since he nearly destroyed the Hunter Headquarters in Kiri, they had been after him. Fortunately he had given them the slip in Wave, so it would take them a long while to find him. It didn't hurt that he was naturally small, so he wouldn't stand out. Months of talking to his old friend had given him queues to act as a normal street urchin.

Because of that trick, no one ever suspected he was a borderline chunin on the run.

Just as he was about to search for food, he heard someone coming.

Sending out a light chakra pulse that most nin would never notice unless they looked for it, he detected a squad of four...and one odd chakra signature that didn't match theirs.

The squad felt like clouds and lightning, which usually meant Kumo. The fifth felt like flames and Forest. That meant Leaf.

His curiousity got the better of him, and he went for a look.

A four man squad from Kumo was escorting a hostage from the Leaf. Which made absolutely no sense. The area he was in was mid way to Konoha, so he was still in Leaf territory. Why were Kumo nin taking a hostage Leaf shinobi out of Konoha? Shouldn't it be the other way around? And where was the man's team?

Something didn't smell right. And that man looked like he was being held hostage.

Mind made up, Yuki grinned as he planned to blame the attack on Kiri ninja.

He dove into the ground like it was water...and struck without warning.

The fight was more or less one sided, as the Kumo nin were killed before they realized where the attack was coming from. He left one alive...but the man was so badly wounded that he had to retreat. Just to be sure that the Mist would be blamed, he allowed his old hunter mask to fall off.

The Kumo nin spotted it, and grabbed it before running. At the very least Kiri would be blamed. It didn't hurt that he had unleashed the Hidden Mist jutsu, which was a trademark of Kiri on the group.

When he insure that the three he killed stayed dead, he found the Konoha nin staring at him with some surprise.

"Who are you?"

"Name's Yuki. What the hell were those Kumo nin doing this deep in Leaf territory?"

"...They were escorting me to Kumo in exchange for the man we killed last month."

"I thought there was a peace treaty being signed?"

"How long have you been out in the wild?"

"About two weeks. Why?"

"The treaty was a hoax. They attempted to kidnap the Hyuuga heiress and the ambassador was killed. They demanded the head of the Hyuuga clan to pay for the death of their own."

"This is why I _hate_ politics. So just to be clear, the idiots attempted to kidnap one of the Leaf's most powerful clan's heir, failed and you're the schmuck paying the price?"

The man sweatdropped.

"Pretty much. So what is a Kiri nin doing here?"

"Former Kiri nin. I accidentally unlocked a bloodline and had to get out of there."

"What bloodline?"

Yuki said nothing, and just activated it. The look on the other man's face was priceless.

"But...that looks like the Byakugan!"

"Byakugan?"

"Can you see the chakra pathways?"

"For about fifty feet, why?"

"I don't understand, how could a Kiri nin have the Byakugan?"

Yuki deactivated it and looked annoyed.

"I had to leave an apprenticeship with one of the Seven Swordsmen and a job as a Hunter nin because of this stupid thing. It took me months to figure out how to even use it right!"

"What else have you been able to do?"

"Aside from finding out that I now have a knack for medical jutsu? Not much."

He hid a sigh of relief. Clearly the kid hadn't figured out how to do the Gentle Fist technique.

"On the other hand, my chakra enhanced senbon have become a lot more painful whenever I hit the pulsing dots," Yuki said offhandedly.

That caught his attention. So the kid had been experimenting with the Gentle Fist, just not with his hands.

"What are your plans?"

"I was planning on heading into Leaf, until I realized that out of all my things I forgot to grab my passport."

The man grinned.

"Since you just hit the Kumo party with an ambush and made it look like a Hunter attacked, I dare say that I can vouch for you."

"Thanks. What's your name anyway?"

"Hizashi Hyuuga."

"Well Hizashi, it's a pleasure to meet you!" chirped Yuki. His stomach growled and he looked sheepish.

"Before that, let's head back to my camp."

"I didn't see any on the way here."

"That's because I was about to sink it into a small enough cavern to sleep at the night."

Hizashi raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing him.

Yuki waited until Hizashi was settled in, and then made the handsigns.

"_Earth Style: Hidden Cavern no Jutsu!"_

The earth around the circle sunk in slowly enough not to alarm his new traveling partner, but quickly enough to suit Yuki. The only indication that there was even anyone there was the smoke, which Yuki disguised with a simple genjutsu. As long as the smoke didn't billow outside the field, no one would even know they were there!

Hizashi was clearly impressed by Yuki's field knowledge, as the smoke was almost nonexistent and didn't billow. The plants he picked were edible, and the fish was cooked to perfection.

As the only active chakra was the genjustu, he would have been hard put to realize anyone was there.

The two went to sleep, never knowing that a Leaf patrol had just passed by. They had been following Hizashi just in case, and they were all Hyuuga. They never even noticed the genjutsu hiding the smoke.


	2. Chapter 2

Yuki didn't gape at the sight of the Hokage monument. He did feel highly uncomfortable with the staring, even if most of it wasn't directed at him. If there was one thing he hated it was staring.

Hizashi was still shocked that Yuki had the Byakugan, and he intended to have a blood test done to find out why.

"So we have this young man to thank for your safe return?" asked Sarutobi.

Yuki was standing at perfect attention, having to give reports more than once.

"Yes, Hokage-sama," said Hizashi.

"What's your name kid?"

"Yuki sir. Yuki, formerly of Kiri."

"What caused you to leave?"

Yuki said nothing, but activated the eyes, causing Sarutobi to raise an eyebrow in surprise.

"You have the Byakugan?"

"According to this guy, yes. I didn't know what it was called, just that having it while working in the middle of the Hunter Headquarters was tantamount to suicide."

Sarutobi agreed completely.

"How old are you?"

"Almost nine sir."

"What was your rank?"

"I'm a genin, but I was scheduled to join the chunin exams this year since it was being held in the village. My previous standing was one of the Hunter nin assigned to killing people with kekkei genkai. Needless to say I didn't want to be a hypocrite, which was why I left."

Sarutobi laughed at that. A kekkei genkai user killing others while trying to hide his own bloodline limit? It was indeed a fine example of hypocrisy.

"I'm afraid you'll have to visit the T and I department before I can allow you to live here."

"Fine by me..." an idea occurred to Yuki, one that would gain him some favor with the village leader.

"Is there any chance that the other clans would object to me joining their ranks?"

"Possibly, the Uchiha have been restless since the attempted kidnapping."

"Then would these help my chances of staying? I made double copies of all of them..." asked Yuki bringing out the copies he made of almost the entire Kiri jutsu library.

"What are these?"

"Almost all the genin, chunin and jounin elemental jutsu I swiped from the Kiri library. Since I was among the few genin who could handle jounin level jutsu, they allowed me to borrow the scrolls to practice. Kisame certainly didn't care."

"Kisame, as in Hoshigaki Kisame?!"

"The same. Why?"

"He's an A-rank missing nin! He was your instructor?" said Hizashi in shock.

"What the...since when did he become a missing nin?"

"Three months ago."

"Well I've been on the run for nearly an entire year. It's no wonder I never heard about that."

"In the mean time, why don't you two meet Ibiki in the Interrogation department?"

* * *

Ibiki was the first to admit he was impressed by Yuki. The kid had not only managed to single handedly destroy Kiri's Hunter headquarters and take out several of the very people who could have caught him, but he also managed to steal several village secrets.

Plus the kid had an impressive arsenal of useful jutsu, like the one he used to hide from the Hyuuga party sent to watch Hizashi. The kid was easily chunin level, and a prodigy to boot. His chakra control was second to none at his age. Plus the fact that he wasn't as insane as the other Kiri nin was only a bonus.

He could see no reason not to let the kid go.

Anko was just impressed that the kid for some reason could snake speak.

The only real issue was that none of the current jounin wanted to deal with him until the chunin exam. And being so new to the village they couldn't promote him.

So the Hokage came up with an interesting alternative. Since he couldn't go on to a genin teams, he could go into the Academy and bond with others his age.

Yuki didn't mind hiding his real power to blend in. At the very least he could join the other kids on a normal genin team, which he never had the chance to do before.

To the shock of Hiashi and the Hyuuga elders, Yuki actually _was_ related to them by blood. He was Hiashi and Hizashi's second cousin.

Which meant he was an actual Hyuuga, not the by product of some experiment.

However, because Yuki wasn't considered part of the Hyuuga clan (despite the fact that he _was_ related to them by blood) he couldn't legally call himself part of their clan.

After seeing the Caged Bird Seal on Hizashi, Yuki wasn't sure that was a bad thing. Chances were pretty good that if he had been accepted, they would have placed a similar seal on _him_.

Frankly he could live with being a semi-clanless orphan.

On the plus side, at least he got along great with his new neighbor, a fellow orphan named Naruto.

* * *

"GET BACK HERE YOU BRATS!"

"Catch us if you can old geezer!" grinned Haru.

It had been three years since he had legally changed his name so as to make a clean break from his former village. He had discovered with some shock the real reason his reserves were so bloody large for his age. It had happened completely by accident a few weeks after finally settling in the village.

_Flashback_

_Haru had finally changed his name. Frankly he never thought Yuki was a good name for him, but it was the one Kisame had given him when he had taken him in._

_Things had settled down since the Hokage had turned him into a regular Academy cadet. While most of his former collegues would have been insulted, Haru actually jumped at the chance. He had never felt at ease in Kiri, despite the fact it was where he grew up. And no one was willing to really befriend him there._

_He sat on his bed, doing his daily meditation. He found it helped him to center himself, and in doing so made multitasking so much easier._

_As he fell into his usual breathing exercises, he felt himself being pulled into his own mind. It was there that he came face to face with a massive shark like creature with the most terrifying eyes._

_**So, we finally meet face to face. Hello Haru.**_

_Who are you?_

_**My title is Sanbi, the three tailed bijuu.**_

_Bijuu?! You mean you're one of the demons who control the forces of nature?!_

_The Sanbi chuckled. He knew he had chosen his newest host wisely. At least he hadn't ended up in an idiot like the Kyuubi. It was something that amused him to no end._

_**Indeed. You should feel honored, little human, that I chose to be sealed inside of you.**_

_Wait, chose? I thought you were sealed by humans to keep your kind from destroying everything? And aren't you supposed to be a turtle thing?_

_**What you humans don't know is that we can seal ourselves away...and we can change our form. Nearly eight years ago you appeared before me after I lost my previous host. I didn't want to be controlled like before, so I shed my previous form and sealed myself inside of you.**_

_Why?_

_**Because I didn't want a repeat of my previous host. A man came to him one day and used a doujutsu on him, causing him to hate those with Kekkei Genkai. Soon, that madness spread throughout Kiri, creating the village you knew. You have a power that hasn't been seen since the Sage's time, and I didn't want to you be tricked into using it against the shinobi forces.**_

_Power?_

_**Inside of you is the power of Magic. This power allows you to control ALL the elements, not just the ones your body produced naturally thanks to my influence. Magic has the power to change the world, if used properly.**_

_Magic?_

_**Magic. I cannot train you, but your meditation exercises will help guide you to use it on your own. Magic has few limitations.**_

_So what do I do now?_

_**Now? Now we do nothing. I don't want to reveal myself unless I absolutely have to. Since you don't need to draw upon my reserves just yet, you don't need to make any signs that I am even here. But I can hear your thoughts if you need someone to talk to. Do yourself a favor though...when you want to talk to me, don't speak aloud.**_

_Good to know. I suppose I should get some sleep._

_**Sleep well, little Spring.**_

_Flashback End_

Ever since that day, Haru found the Sanbi to be an excellent conversationalist. And unlike Naruto (who Haru found out through the Sanbi had the fox demon inside of him) he could actually speak to the shark. Haru was the only person in the class who ever encouraged Naruto to do better, even sharing his books when he learned that the teachers gave him outdated ones.

The fact that he would willingly get close to the village pariah was one of the major reasons why the Hokage was glad to accept Haru into the village. Haru not only encouraged Naruto, he even helped him out. Whenever a store refused to sell him food at reasonable prices, or the weapons were inflated beyond reason, Haru would walk in an hour later and buy double.

It was a common misconception that Haru bullied Naruto. In truth Naruto willingly handed his allowance over to Haru so he could buy things for him. Haru was the whole reason why Naruto loved to read as much as he did.

Because of their friendship, Haru found his new favorite instructor in Iruka, who treated Naruto as a little brother.

Which was probably why Haru and Naruto were out pranking today. Today was right before the big genin exam, which Naruto had failed twice. The second time wasn't even his fault, but the instructors at the time wouldn't even listen to reason.

They were later fired for their bias.

(Further investigation revealed someone had slapped a chakra restriction on Naruto, which was the reason he failed at his best jutsu to date, the Henge.)

Haru had passed the test, but had told the Hokage that he would wait until Naruto passed before joining a team. Considering he used to be a Kiri genin and could easily pass the final genin test after dealing with bigots, the Hokage agreed to it. Naruto never had a clue that his best friends future as a ninja depended on him.

"Ready to take that test...again?" asked Haru, grinning.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically. Haru was the only friend he had that knew what he went through and did something to improve his life. The fact that he was somewhat distantly related to Hinata of all people didn't bother him in the least. Haru made no bones of how he felt about the Hyuuga Elders and their repeated complaints about his friendship.

Haru smirked, and grabbed Naruto just as the chunin were about to catch up. With a loud crack, the two disappeared and reappeared on the Academy roof. Haru had found this ability quite by accident while pranking the Hokage and escaping the proceeding ANBU. Ever since then, Haru had practiced it until he could appear anywhere he had been at least once.

Something that annoyed Anko to no end, because he had a habit of swiping her dango and snacking on it on the other end of the village. The only reason she hadn't castrated him violently yet was because he always dropped three bags of fresh dango on her desk every time she was swamped with paperwork.

Besides, the resulting chase was great practice for that odd power he had.

Iruka returned to the class to find both missing students grinning like loons at him, and he scowled.

"Naruto, Haru? Where in Kami's name have you been?!"

Haru smirked, and pointed out to the Hokage monument. Iruka was angry enough to use what the students had dubbed the 'Big Head' jutsu.

Too bad Haru was particularly adept at escaping ropes, as he cut both his and Naruto's.

Angered at the blatant disrespect Naruto showed him, he had everyone review the Henge technique. Haru grinned, because he knew exactly what would happen if they reviewed the henge. He decided to one up Naruto, which was something of a game to the two.

Naruto did his Sexy jutsu, to the laughter of the boys, and Haru waited for his turn.

"Henge!"

Iruka gaped at Haru, because he had done as instructed...except for one important fact.

"Haru, the assignment was to henge into me..." said Iruka, eyebrows twitching.

"Yes, Iruka-sensei."

"SO WHY DID YOU HENGE INTO A FEMALE VERSION!" snapped Iruka.

"One-uppage and combination of the Sexy jutsu," Haru stated flatly.

"What do you mean, combination? The sexy jutsu is just a perverted henge trick!" screeched Sakura Haruno. Naruto had a huge crush on her, but Haru couldn't stand her voice.

"Actually, the sexy jutsu _isn't_ a henge at all. The changes are solid enough to fool the chunin sentries at the gate," commented Haru.

"How do you know that?" asked Iruka, almost afraid to ask.

Haru and Naruto grinned evilly.

"On second thought...I really don't want to know."

"Are you sure Iruka-sensei? I'm sure Izumo and Kotetsu would be happy to tell you the story..." they said in unison.

Iruka could feel a headache coming on. He was going to get that story out of the permanent chunin duo later, but first he had to get the class under control.

(Funnily enough, Iruka sometimes got saddled with gate duty while one of the duo took over for him. He often bantered with Izumo and argued with Kotetsu over syrup flavors. They actually caught a few intruders with Iruka's Naruto/Haru-senses. He could tell when the two were planning to prank him minutes before they ever did.)

Once class let out, Iruka lead the troublesome duo straight to the monument to clean off the paint. It was something of an inside joke among the Academy teachers that while Haru was more talented that any student currently at the Academy, he had almost no luck with directions. He could followed them fairly well, but getting to his destination without getting lost was rare. Most times he just followed someone else.

It seemed that while he had the best sense of direction under the water, on land he kept getting his signals crossed and it just got him unimaginably lost.

In an odd twist of fate, since most people believed he was bullying Naruto, they were more than happy to point him in the right direction.

Iruka just made sure his hand was on Haru's shoulder the entire time there. Once they were on top of the monument, Iruka set the two to work cleaning it off.

Haru had recently taught Naruto how to climb trees using chakra, and this was excellent motivation not to fall off. Once Haru demonstrated and gave him the right advice, Naruto took to the exercise like Haru did to water.

It didn't take long for half the monument to be clean, since Haru knew quite a few water based jutsu, which Iruka forgot to tell him not to use.

"I don't see why we're hurrying. Not like we have anyone home waiting for us..." grumbled Naruto, who was stuck scrubbing the thing while Haru carefully blasted it with water.

"Correction, you don't have anyone aside from me, while I have a bunch of Uchiha-wannabes with kunai lodged up their ass for relatives," retorted Haru.

"Who has it worse again?" asked Naruto.

"What was the last count?" replied Haru.

"I forget..."

Iruka watched the two banter like brothers. Originally, when he encountered Haru's "Bullying" of Naruto he had taken it very badly. Fortunately for the scarred chunin, he had enough common sense to ask the boys what was really going on. After that he took to treating both of them like little brothers.

He honestly had no idea that Haru used the guise of bullying to help Naruto with his shopping issues or to keep the mobs at bay. Haru had diverted more than a few drunken mobs intent on pain to the Forest of Death. If a few idiots and hypocrites died in the process, well it was their fault for trying to hurt Naruto.

Though he still had no idea where Haru learned his skills and water jutsu from, since the Hyuuga had certainly never taught him. The only ones in that clan that would associate with him were the branch members and Hinata. Even then the most they did was nod towards him in the street.

Neji seemed to get along with Haru best, even showing him how to use the Jyuken properly without his father's prompting. Haru seemed to be having the same problems Hinata had with the style.

(He secretly handed Hinata a piece of chakra paper, and found she had the same element he did. Apparently the reason they were having so much trouble was because the Jyuken was earth and fire based, while Hinata had a water style body. Once Haru found a way to incorporate his style with the Jyuken, he was going to teach it to Hinata.)

* * *

**_First I have to clarify a few things. Haru is at least three to four years older than Naruto, and has so far not bothered to take the genin exams so he can be on a team with Naruto. Haru was completely unaware that he has the Sanbi while he lived in Kiri, since the demon didn't want to be used again. He has at least three elemental attributes, the main being water._**

**_However, there is one final note I would like to make, for those of you who seem to be under the impression that the newer fics will be abandoned after a few chapters._**

**_I am on VACATION. As such, the updates will be to a crawl since I haven't been on my laptop very often. I can assure you that I will be updating several of my fics by at least next month. The updated stories will be: Aburame Lightning, Seal Mishaps, Dear Kami There's Two of Them, A Thousand Saturn Blossoms, Dark Mage of the Zodiac and Loki Black, as well as this fic. So please be patient until I am able to return to my previous update schedule. Thank you.  
_**


	3. Chapter 3

Haru walked up to the desk. This was definitely Naruto's best chance at becoming a genin...and the Hokage had made very sure that they would be on the same team.

"Haru, pass!" said Iruka firmly.

Haru paused on the way out, seeing something that definitely should _not_ be on Naruto. With a little slight of hand he swiped something off his back.

After he sat down he realized what he had in his hand and held back a snarl.

It was a fairly simple, yet incredibly powerful chakra suppressant. Combining that with the fox inside Naruto, and that was asking for trouble. Naruto had enough issues with his control, and he didn't need more dammit!

Haru waited eagerly for Naruto to pass.

"Naruto, PASS!" said Iruka with no little amount of relief. Haru could practically feel the vibrations from Naruto's hyper mood. He had finally passed, after so long!

And the first thing he did once he had his new headband around his neck was to tackle Haru.

"OOF!"

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"said Naruto, clinging to Haru so tightly he had difficulty breathing.

"Fox...boy..._AIR..."_ gasped Haru.

"If you hadn't taught me that other clone jutsu, I would have failed again!" said Naruto.

To Haru's relief, Naruto did let him breathe...

"What other clone jutsu?" demanded Sasuke.

"Water clone. Tested out Naruto's affinity and it turned out he had two. One of which is water. His chakra control is horrendous, but I got him good enough to pull a water clone with almost no trouble," said Haru proudly.

* * *

"So let me get this straight... According the Mizuki, there is a special secondary graduating exam which if completed without getting caught allows the genin to take C ranks instead of the chore that is D ranks..." said Haru slowly. He had done a few D ranks, and since he mostly henged his clones so no one noticed, he got away with it.

He had the fastest time catching Tora, and the cat was unusually docile...though according to the owner Tora fought like it was possessed if anyone put it near water.

Whenever someone looked at him for that, he would whistle innocently and fooled no one.

He was the only one-man genin team in Konoha, not that anyone aside from the few jounin knew that. He was never allowed to take any missions that would allow him outside Leaf village territory until he had a proper genin team.

"Well what are we waiting for? Just let me meet up with you at Ichiraku's before we do this together," said Haru with false cheer.

Naruto fell for that bait easily, and had no idea Haru was going to expose a traitor.

* * *

"Hello Haru, congratulations on passing for a change, instead of skipping," said the Hokage easily.

"Hokage-sama, we have a traitor in the Academy. With your permission, I would like to have Naruto help me in exposing him," said Haru seriously.

It took little time to explain the situation, and the Hokage admitted it was a sound plan. Plus it would make up for some of the issues that had come about because he never revealed Naruto's parentage.

An hour after dusk fell, Haru and Naruto made their way into the Hokage tower to steal an important scroll. The Hokage had given Haru full permission to copy any water jutsu he wanted, so long as they caught Mizuki for them.

With that kind of endorsement, Haru used his odd power to copy jutsu left and right once they got a safe distance.

By some quirk of fate, Haru lead Naruto into the infamous Forest of Death. The river lead straight to the Valley of the End, and thanks to Haru, Naruto could hold his breath for hours while swimming underwater.

By the time Mizuki figured out where the two went (he was somewhat annoyed that the boys hadn't gone to the place _he_ designated) Iruka had long since caught up with them, and was in on their scheme to reveal the traitor.

Iruka would hide nearby, then make it look like he had just arrived. They still couldn't prove that Mizuki was a traitor, since people would claim that Naruto had tricked the two, so Haru was going to attempt a different strategy.

He heard about the Third's law from Teuchi at Ichiraku's. Anyone stupid enough to mention the fox inside Naruto got an immediate arrest warrant and possible execution, depending how much they blabbed.

Mizuki sneered at the two, and it didn't take much to trick him into revealing the fox to Naruto.

Naruto was in total shock, but looked at his best friend.

"I already knew for a few years now. You really think I care about the Fox? Besides, I'm not even _from_ Konoha, remember?"

Iruka, while surprised that Haru already knew about the fox, admitted the last bit made a lot of sense. Because he wasn't from Konoha, he never developed any hate towards Naruto or inherited prejudice from the adults towards the fox. He was also considered an outsider because of the fact that he was a Hyuuga, but was never born inside the clan.

No one actually knew where he originally came from, except a select few close the Hokage. Not even Naruto really knew.

Once Mizuki blew his only chance to escape with his life, Haru smirked cruelly. They were right next to the river for a reason.

"_Water style: Great Dragon Bullet!"_ cried Haru. They never even saw his hand signs.

The amount of water that erupted from the river was shocking...but what Haru did next really bothered Iruka for weeks.

"_Water style: Water Imprisonment Jutsu!"_

Out of the water that erupted an entire sphere covered Mizuki. There was no escape, though any ninja his level could hold their breath until they left the forest.

Mizuki, in a desperate bid for freedom, managed to break free just as they reached the border.

Naruto, angry over what Mizuki tried to do to him, unleashed the shadow clone on his ass.

Iruka stared at the thousand plus clones Naruto let loose, and he wasn't even breathing hard after. The ANBU sent to retrieve Mizuki and take the boys to the Hokage stared in shock too...and dread.

Shock, because Naruto used an A class kinjutsu without breaking a sweat...and dread because all hell would break loose with a thousand Naruto's running around with their pranks. It had been bad enough after Haru showed him the Water Clone jutsu...

* * *

"Well done, Haru, Naruto. I must admit, I was surprised that you already knew about the Kyuubi Haru."

"I have my internal sources. Can't say too much about it though..." said Haru.

The Hokage raised an eyebrow at that, but Haru wouldn't say any more. At least not until he could confirm actual privacy.

A few days later he used his favorite instant cave jutsu to tell the Hokage what he did know about the demon inside of him. Learning that the boy he had allowed into the village as an Academy Student was the willing container for the real three tails was a complete shock...even more so when the boy revealed that the three tails was the one to seal itself inside him...not the other way around.

Since he now knew that the boy was exactly like Naruto, only not known as a jinchuriki, it explained so much.

"This explains that odd report from Mizu..."

"Yeah, he said he ditched his old form and a butt load of chakra to fool the jerks in Kiri when he sealed himself in me. It's partly his fault I can practically breath underwater."

"Just to let you know, Naruto _will_ be on your team, but you can work independently on D ranks."

"So the same arrangement as always until the team I'm on goes on a C rank?"

"Yes. And Naruto can join you as long as he leaves a clone to take his place."

"Woohoo!"

"Team Seven, you will be Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki and Haru."

"Sensei, why do we have four members instead of only three like everyone else?"

"Haru is an independent genin, and is only attached to your squad in name only. There aren't any two man squads of genin who were willing to take him, and he works well enough with Naruto not to drag your team down. Coincidentally, should your sensei be taken out of action for any reason, Haru would be in charge, since he's had more missions than you," said Iruka.

"How can an idiot like him be our senior?" snorted Sasuke. Sakura was quick to join his side, to Haru's annoyance.

"Because before I came to this village I was already a genin dumbass. I only joined the Academy because it was easier than waiting for another team to lose a member and no one wanted me as an apprentice within two years. And by the way, back in my old home I had already completed 3 B rank missions and 15 C, so if you don't want me to kick your ass from here to Kiri, shut the hell up," snapped Haru.

"Like a Hyuuga cast off would ever beat me..." sneered Sasuke.

Haru glared at him so venomously that it was a miracle the Uchiha didn't burst into flame.

* * *

Naruto and Haru waited impatiently in the trees. Haru had brought a copy of the scroll they had taken. He had been more concerned about copying jutsu at the time than training. Only Naruto had bothered to train using shadow clone, and that because he was so damn bored waiting for the traitor to finally show up.

They had both eaten breakfast, as they had broken any reflex to throw up early on thanks to Haru. All those hellish years under Kisame finally payed off.

Sasuke and Sakura had shown up bright and early...unlike the two jinchuriki who had shown up at their own pace. Haru had met Kakashi a few times, and knew the man had a chronic problem of being late...alongside being a pervert.

They already had a plan for him.

_Three hours later..._

"Sorry I'm late, I got lost on the road of life."

"I cry bullshit!" yelled Haru from the tree he was hanging upside down from.

He had shocked the two annoying pests by reading upside down without hooking his legs on the branch. Naruto had further surprised him by copying Haru after a moments thought.

It had led to a bit of a shout fest that had Kakashi's ears ringing from his hiding place, though he was impressed by the insults that Haru and Naruto used on the other two.

"Before I forget, Haru, you'll have to sit this one out. This is a test for them, not you," said Kakashi.

"...Can I at least leave _one_ water clone for Naruto?" he asked hopefully.

"No this is a test for them," he said.

"Sorry Naruto, I tried," said Haru.

"It's alright aniki!" said Naruto cheerfully.

"I have two bells. The fool who doesn't acquire one is going back to the Academy. You have until noon!"

Naruto was bouncing on his heels, but made no move towards Kakashi. All it had taken to convince him to take his time was to mention to Naruto a few things he had learned about the man...like the fact he was an ex-ANBU operative, and therefore could take some of his more...destructive pranks.

As a result, Naruto was loaded down with pranks that he was about to unleash. Including one that would later have Haru laughing so hard that he wet himself.

"Um, what happens if you leave the training ground before we get a bell?" asked Naruto.

"Then you automatically pass. Why?" asked Kakashi suspiciously.

"Just curious."

"Begin!"

Sasuke and Sakura bolted, hiding in different spots. Naruto, on the other hand, put his hands into an odd sequence before declaring...

"I-set-your-house-on-fire no jutsu!" said Naruto proudly.

"What?" asked Kakashi without comprehension, before a loud explosion was heard...proceeded by a large column of smoke.

"I set your house on fire no jutsu, my newest personal jutsu!" said Naruto without hesitating.

Kakashi took one look at the direction it was in, and completely panicked.

"_MY HOUSE!"_

He vanished from the training ground like Naruto whenever there was an all-you-can-eat at Ichiraku's.

Haru walked up to his surrogate brother and looked him in the eye.

"Did you really blow up his house?"

"Smoke pellets and a sound tag set to explosive boom...plus a clone with a radio. Interestingly, we now have unlimited blackmail material on our new sensei," said Naruto pleased.

Haru put an arm around his brother's shoulder and said "Do tell..."

"I have his entire collection hostage."

The unholy cackle the two let off sent shivers down the other genin's spines. Though they were quickly knocked out. Sakura was hogtied and dropped in an Inuzuka kennel with catnip tied around her neck. Sasuke, on the other hand, was stripped to his skivvies and oiled up, then dropped at his second most vocal fan's house while Naruto and Haru raided his home for blackmail material.

It would take them weeks to finally live down the embarrassment while their teamwork improved far beyond what it could have been for the Emo avenger and his banshee like fan girl.

* * *

It was another rough week. After the initial pranks, Kakashi spent most of the time trying to improve the rather horrible teamwork his team had. While Sasuke and Sakura worked well enough together (they had bonded over the rather graphic ideas that they came up with to get revenge on the other two) they refused to work with either Naruto or Haru. Haru and Naruto, on the other hand, worked like a well oiled machine and were miles ahead of the other pair in terms of actual skill.

It infuriated Sasuke and Sakura that Haru and Naruto were allowed to take separate missions, and often did so to avoid some of the more tedious ones.

Though once Haru had paid for a D rank for the two to give the retired shinobi sponge baths... And no more was ever said of the matter.

Kakashi attempted to mend bridges by having Haru train the weaker duo, which he replied that he would do so only if Sasuke got the huge stick out of his ass and Sakura got rid of her unhealthy obsession with the Uchiha and lost her banshee voice.

An entire month after forming Team 7, Kakashi was about ready to snap.

Which is when he was _finally_ allowed to ask for a C rank in the hopes of shutting his two opposing teams up. He had no idea of the hell he was about to unleash on himself or the result of going so close to Kiri...


	4. Chapter 4

Haru wasn't exactly _excited_ to leave Konoha. Normally, he would be thrilled since he had acquired a bit of a taste for sleeping outdoors.

But he was going far too close to his old home for his comfort. After revealing that yes, he knew about the damn fox and didn't give a shit about it, Naruto gave him this look that had him telling the boy where he really came from.

Finding out his best friend/brother was in fact from a place called the Bloody Mist wasn't exactly comforting, even if it did explain more than it didn't about his abilities.

After handing Naruto his spare scroll full of gear (he always packed two) they headed out.

* * *

"Hey, I remember you two losers! You were always hanging around Zabuza hoping he would let you in on his kills!" said Haru in annoyance.

"YOU! You're that brat Kisame was always going on about!" snarled one of the Demon Brothers.

"Damn straight I am. If you're here, that means Zabuza isn't going to be far behind," said Haru.

"Haru, how do you know these two?" asked Kakashi with some concern.

Haru leveled a look at him.

"Didn't the old man tell you anything when he assigned me to your team?"

"Only that you knew about...that...and were unusually proficient for water jutsu and kenjutsu at your age."

"I don't believe this... He never told you I was from Kiri before I ran away and ended up joining the Leaf?"

Seeing that explanations would take a while, Haru told Kakashi his short backstory. Finding out that the boy was responsible for Hizashi's safe return was a bit of a shock. So was learning he used to be the infamous Kisame Hoshigaki's apprentice.

Flipping open a new edition of the Bingo Book, he found a listing for a genin-level Mist shinobi known as the Mist Shark. The face wasn't available because Haru had destroyed the official picture and they only had a description based off his former colleagues which had become outdated.

The reward was fairly impressive for his capture or death for a genin.

"How the hell did you get a 600,000 ryo bounty when you're still a genin?" asked Kakashi, impressed.

"Destroyed more than my photo on the way out. In order to keep them off my tail for a day or two, I took out the entire Bloodline Hunter division when I collapsed it on them during lunch hour. Not my fault they didn't think to look in the vents when I left them a warning," shrugged Haru.

Sasuke and Sakura stared at him.

"You're a former ANBU?!" they said incredulous.

"Junior ANBU, at least. My killing technique was well known in Kiri. I've only added to it since then," grinned Haru with an evil look at them.

The two nearly shit themselves with the KI he projected their way. Kakashi bopped his head absentmindedly.

"Quit scaring the noobs," said Kakashi.

"Aw...you're no fun at all!" pouted Haru.

Kakashi sweatdropped. This kid was far too much like Anko.

"You haven't by any chance met a jounin named Anko Mitarashi..."

"She's my drinking partner! I'm the only teen who can keep up with her!" chirped Haru.

Seeing the look leveled at him by the other genin and Tazuna, he gave them an incredulous one of his own.

"You mean you didn't know? Old enough to kill, old enough to do all the fun stuff without the wait! Well, except anything that all the Icha Icha books are infamous for. Those you have to wait until you're chunin or you turn fifteen," said Haru shrugging.

"Like what?" asked Naruto.

"You can drink, gamble and smoke and it's all legal!" said Haru.

Just then an evil idea occurred to him.

"I challenge Tazuna and Naruto to a drinking contest as soon as we get to his house!"

Tazuna cheered. This was his kind of kid!

* * *

"Look, new sword!" said Naruto.

Naruto wasn't disappointed when someone appeared on the sword itself. Haru had been _very_ descriptive of Zabuza Momochi.

"Zabuza Momochi. So he was right when he said if the Demon Brothers were around you weren't far behind," said Kakashi.

"Oh? Someone who knows me?" sneered Zabuza.

Kakashi rattled off something only those he knew by name would know...which was a very short list of living people. Zabuza decided to have a little fun with the genin...only to find the blond one entirely unaffected while the other two practically shit themselves.

"Aniki does worse when I eat the last of the ice cream," said Naruto matter-of-factly.

The fight itself wasn't impressive by jounin standards, as both were equally matched. It wasn't until Kakashi made the mistake of jumping on the water that the tide turned.

And it wasn't in Zabuza's favor, despite the fact Kakashi was stuck inside the Water Prison technique.

The moment Zabuza spared a few seconds to create a water clone, he got the shock of his life as a massive shark shot out of the water and nearly took his arm off.

Kakashi fell from the Prison, and went to shore. Should Zabuza ever come on land again, it would be his turn to fight.

It was long past time for Haru to show what he could really do, and water was his element.

The water bubbled up into fifteen clones...and Zabuza recognized the wielder in a heartbeat.

"I should have known it was you, Yuki. I'm amazed you survived the hunters," said Zabuza.

"It's Haru now. I ditched that name along with the hunter nin. If you continue to go after Tazuna, I'll be the one you'll face...and I'll be the one to carry that sword while your corpse rots in the sea," said Haru coolly.

Only Naruto and Kakashi were completely untouched by the KI Haru was letting loose. It was far more potent compared to Zabuza's. The mist began to encroach on the water, and by some unspoken signal the two clashed.

Haru had improved on his moves since coming to Konoha, and it showed. Zabuza used to be able to keep up, but now he was outclassed.

Running with Naruto after a prank was by far the most effective stamina exercise he had ever come across, and the Forest of Death was the ultimate survival area. There was a reason Anko and Haru frequented it while eating on dango.

Haru smirked, and ran through the hand signs he had only memorized an hour ago while waiting for the boat to catch up to him.

"_Water Style: Full Moon Maelstrom!"_

The water began to buck and dip wildly as a great whirlpool spread out from Haru's feet. It was one of the water jutsu he copied off the Forbidden Scroll. It took all his concentration not to fall off the small area of water that was almost perfectly still. Zabuza didn't stand a chance as he was sucked to the bottom, and it was only the fact that he still had a rebreather from his years as a Kiri nin that saved him.

When Haru let go of the jutsu, Zabuza came up, coughing up a storm and seeing spots in his vision. Without warning two senbon lodged themselves in his neck. A hunter nin appeared wearing the mask with the symbol for Kiri, and Haru tensed.

"Thank you. I have been hunting him for quite a while now," lied the 'boy' smoothly.

"Just take the bastard and go. If you were real you would have attacked the moment I showed myself," snapped Haru.

The hunter tensed, but grabbed Zabuza and left without a word. Kakashi looked at Haru, who beside being out of breath was fine. Then he collapsed from over using the Sharingan.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura cried out.

"Naruto, grab one side and I'll get the other. Tazuna, lead the way to your house. We won't be encountering anyone else," ordered Haru.

Tazuna nodded faintly. The storm the boy had called up was a ship killer easily.

* * *

Kakashi woke up to the most horrifying sight imaginable. The second volume of Icha Icha (first edition) about to be burned. He did his very best to shoot out of the bed he was laying on, only to discover Haru and Naruto laughing their asses off.

Once his heart rate went down, he glared at the two.

"Why do you continue to mock me with the precious?" he asked.

"Because you keep calling this fourth rate smut your precious. I keep telling you that there are better hentai books, but you never listen," said Haru, finally able to breathe again.

Kakashi snatched his book back (he had only gotten three out of the ten back at this point) and shot the boys such a dirty look it was a miracle they didn't burst spontaneously into flames.

"So how do you know there weren't any other assassins?" asked Kakashi.

"I know Zabuza fairly well. There are very few people he would allow to work with him, and the Demon Brothers were efficient as cannon fodder. Otherwise they would have died already. I have a feeling as to who that fake Hunter nin was, but I would have to get back on you about that," said Haru.

"How do you know he was fake aniki?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke and Sakura nodded.

"Because a real hunter nin would have gone after me first. I'm still wanted in Kiri for nearly obliterating their bloodline hunters, and Zabuza was in no shape to defend against such a quick attack after what I did to him. Besides, anyone who has been in the hunter division would know that there aren't any one hit kills in the neck. He most likely just put Zabuza in a near death state to fool us," replied Haru.

"So what do we do now?" asked Sakura.

"Kakashi is going to stay here and rest while Naruto watches Tazuna. You two are finally going to get off your ass and train like real shinobi with me."

"What do you mean by that?!" snapped Sasuke.

Haru poked him hard in the chest.

"You two are weak and a liability. Pinky here more so. While you do have some redeemable qualities like the fact that you have enough chakra to blast a few fireballs, your control is half assed and your attitude is in need of adjustment. Your ego would get in the way of helping a comrade and completing a mission without incident, and to be frank it pisses me off watching you strut about like you own the place."

Haru turned to Sakura, who was about to shriek. He threw a kunai so close to her ear that a strand of hair fell to the ground. She shut up immediately.

"You, little miss banshee, are even _more_ useless than Naruto during a paper test. You have no discernible skills and your jutsu are sloppy, weak and absolutely useless in a battle. Your chakra levels just barely rank above a trained civilian, and your only redeeming shinobi ability is your book smart which can and _will_ get you killed in the real world. For the next week you two will be cursing my name, but you will start to act like real shinobi before I snap and kill you both."

The two stared at him incredulous, but reluctantly nodded. The Hokage had confirmed a while back that what Iruka had said about their extra team member was in fact true. He was only on their team as a spare member because no one else wanted him, and there wasn't any available spots. While Kakashi was the team leader, he became the sensei on the rare occasion that Kakashi was taken out for a prolonged period of time.

Sasuke had once asked why he wasn't a chunin once, and got the most surprising reply.

Haru only pretended to be a genin long enough to earn experience until he could join the ANBU legally and take the chunin exam. He had to get at least to the Third stage on his own before he would be promoted to the next rank.

Which meant they were stuck with him until then.

* * *

Three days into the special training, and the two were already cursing blue at Haru. He was brutal as a teacher, but also fairer than anyone else would have been. They had already learned how to walk on trees and water walk after the little show Haru and Naruto did during the test, but that was about the most training they had done with Kakashi. He seemed geared towards teamwork more than improving their skills, something Haru had complained more than once about to the Hokage and Iruka.

(After a short discussion with Kakashi, Haru learned the other element Naruto had was Wind, which he had been unable to identify the last time they checked his elemental affinities. He set Naruto to read up on the affinity while he guarded Tazuna and helped build the bridge with his clones.)

Thanks to his special training, Sasuke had learned to think more on his feet and was on the brink of gaining his kekkei genkai. All it would take was a good push, and it would come out. Sakura had improved the most, since her taijutsu was just plain poor.

She could now hold her own in a spar against Sasuke and was able to last much longer. Her reserves had shot up since the training started. Though she was still fairly useless since she had no real shinobi skills, at least she was no longer a liability in battle. They had no idea he had been using water clones to train them though...

* * *

Haru swam through the water like a ghost. It had taken him three days, but he had finally located Zabuza's base. The only problem was that the two weren't alone. Some samurai thugs and a short man was there two.

Seeing the face of the hunter nin, his found some relief to have his suspicions confirmed. It was the same kid he found in Kiri that he had spared and befriended. He could only hope the two took him up on his offer to join Konoha, because he really, really didn't want to kill the boy.

Once the boy got rid of the short man and his group, Haru debated on whether to move in or not. His mind was made for him when a senbon was sent in his direction.

"Yo."

Zabuza and the boy tensed. If Haru wanted to, he could kill them both and finish his mission early.

"Care to call a truce for the moment?" he asked calmly.

Zabuza reluctantly calmed down. So Haru wasn't there to fight.

"Why did you leave Kiri?" he asked curious. It was one question that had bugged the hell out of him since he first saw the entry in the BINGO book. Haru had left six months before Kisame had, so it was actually quite a mystery.

To answer that question, Haru activated his Byakugan and knocked out the boy's right arm. It would take an entire day to reopen his tenketsu naturally.

"I found I had a bloodline by accident. I'm crazy, not suicidal," said Haru bluntly.

Taken by surprise by the strikes, the boy raised his senbon with his left hand. It was a very awkward way to fight.

"Your arm should be back to normal tomorrow, if you take a soldier pill after morning," Haru told him bored.

"How did you... Which bloodline is that?"

"According to the pale eyed jerks with kunai up their asses, I have the Byakugan. Apparently I'm related the the Hyuuga main house through my parents, whoever the hell they are," said Haru.

"Why are you here?"

"Honestly? I wanted to convince you guys to join Konoha. For a village full of tree huggers, they aren't that bad. Though for some reason they act more like a democracy than a dictatorship."

"We can't. We have a contract."

"And here I was hoping to at least convince you to join me..." said Haru, looking at the boy.

"Who are you?"

"You don't even recognize me do you? I'm that hunter nin who used to share his lunch with you near that bridge," said Haru.

His eyes widened. He remembered that boy, though his eyes had been much colder back then, and his hair had been shorter. He also hadn't worn glasses.

"That was you?"

"Yeah. I went back to that bridge the day I blew up the bloodline hunters, and I would have taken you with me had Zabuza not gotten to you first," said Haru honestly.

Haru looked at Zabuza and said "I'll give you four days at the bridge. Give me an answer then."


	5. Chapter 5

Haru waited patiently for Zabuza and Haku to show up. Naruto had worn himself out the night before and was sleeping it off. He would be fine with a few hours sleep.

He had cleared Sasuke and Sakura only because he was tired of them bitching and he could use them as cannon fodder if he had to.

As he waited for the two to show up and hopefully join his side, he thought back to his first days as Kisame's only apprentice. He could still picture the looks on the other swordmaster's faces when they learned that not only was such a small waif able to keep up with the merciless Kisame with his training, but held Samehada like it was an old friend. The little kid who looked like he was barely five holding that huge sword without it going apeshit on his ass.

Needless to say there was a lot of staring that day, and Kisame mocking them.

* * *

_Flashback_

"What? You have got to be shitting me! You think a tiny thing like you can keep up with me?" howled Kisame. This was too damn funny.

The kid looked like he could barely lift a standard katana, let alone survive Kiri's best ninja program. If he didn't know any better, he would swear this was the same brat he found and rescued four years ago.

The kid said nothing, his emerald colored eyes glinting in cold amusement as he touched the sword on Kisame's back. Kisame didn't bother to stop him, thinking it would serve the brat right to lose a hand for touching his rather picky sword.

Then the unthinkable happened. Samehada didn't react at all like he though it would. In fact it started to purr almost, and didn't try to maim the brat for removing it from Kisame's side. His eyes were wide at the sight.

Samehada...approved of this kid?!

"How...?"

And then his mouth dropped when the kid not only picked up the extremely heavy sword, but proceeded to destroy a nearby tree which most genin would have difficulty with unless they were using a strong jutsu. All without once getting attacked by the sword.

Kisame's eyes glinted. This kid...was interesting.

"Kid, if you can keep up with me today, I'll _definitely_ take you on as an apprentice. You're too damn interesting to let go!" cackled Kisame.

And that was the start of his personal hell. Kisame was brutal, but fair to a point. It took him less than a month to figure out that the kid was the same one he saved. Once he learned about his bizarre chakra reserves, Kisame made a point to teach him as many water jutsu as he knew, and skipped most of the standard weak ass crap they taught at the Academy.

At that time, Yuki had already mastered most of those, so it wasn't a total loss in his books.

And once Kisame learned he was a literal sponge for knowledge and wasn't above practicing on his own, he gave the kid total access to Kiri's kinjutsu archives. He couldn't copy those, but he did memorize a good portion of it.

It was the main reason he was drafted into the Hunter program before he was even a genin. He was simply too skilled to remain in the Academy. Yuki absorbed all the knowledge he could...before he found out about his kekkei genkai. After that he had to leave.

And the rest, they say, is history.

_Flashback end..._

* * *

Haru had to admit, while Kisame was an utter asshole, he was a good teacher. Zabuza, on the other hand, had almost no patience to speak of. The fact that he managed to get his only apprentice to chunin level at all spoke that a miracle had to happen...or that Haku was a natural like him. Either way, Zabuza was still an ass.

He sensed the mist approach, and got up. He had arrived early to hear their side before he had to deal with them with the entire team. Not even Kakashi figured out that it was only a clone in his bed.

"So what's your answer?"

"If that midget betrays us, then we'll join you. Otherwise we'll have to fight."

"Fair enough, though Gato doesn't seem to be the type to pay missing nin...and the fact that I just caught sight of a team of hunters in the area about three hours ago where his base is..."

"What?"

"I don't think they're here for me, because I seriously doubt that midget even knows I'm a former missing nin of Kiri. You, on the other hand are more well known."

"That little...! So what sort of deal do you want to ask for in order for us to join? You know Kiri has a kill on sight for the seven swordsman, and the last time one tried to join another village they ended up sending him back on a silver platter."

"Easy. We fake your death and I'll pretend to claim your sword as a prize. Since I was just a junior Hunter they can't try to reclaim me without looking weak."

"How the hell are you going to fake my death?"

"We'll need a lot of blood...and a shit ton of explosive tags. Kakashi can wear you down while you hit the bottom of the river and I set off the tags with your blood in the middle. With my shark summons, the Kiri Hunters will believe that you were eaten."

"Small problem. How do I avoid getting eaten by the sharks?"

"Clone. Hide under this bridge under a tarp that matches it, and they won't be able to tell."

That...might actually work. So long as no one noticed his presence, and this kid made a big enough fuss, the Hunters might overlook him. Or Haru could kill them and send the word that he now had his sword. It wasn't like Haku was on their books, and Haru was already a known Konoha nin by now.

Kiri wouldn't challenge Konoha over a damn sword.

"I knew there was a reason I tolerated you brat," said Zabuza.

"Which reminds me. One of the Interrogators in Konoha has a thing for people who kill people in all sorts of creative ways. She might try to rape you...or attack me in my sleep...again..."

"Who?"

"Mitarashi Anko," said Haru promptly. Not many people were aware that Haru had a _lot_ of different cherries popped. First drink, first kiss, first kill... there were actually very few that he hadn't popped yet. It was something of a game between him and Anko to pop a few for the hell of it.

Zabuza paled.

"Is she going to jump me on sight?"

"You let off enough bloodlust, and you bet your ass she will. You know how hard it is to get laid if you're the known apprentice of a traitor or a former Kiri nin?" asked Haru rhetorically.

Haku leveled a look.

"Try being a missing nin with a questionably gay teacher, and a pair of idiots that just barely survive being used as cannon fodder and treat women like shit," said Haku dryly.

Haru blinked, and took a longer look at Haku. His eyes widened in disbelief.

"You have got to be (BLEEPING) kidding me. You're a girl?!" said Haru in absolute incredulity.

Haku twitched...and carefully reminded herself that Haru was their ticket to Konoha and away from missing nin...and that she could turn him into a pin cushion later. Then again, Haru did look like her type, and she knew he didn't have a grudge against her. Plus he was hotter than most shinobi she had met.

* * *

Haru waited for his time. If he didn't get it absolutely right, then they would have to deal with a real mess with Kiri over Zabuza and his sword. Plus they would find out he was still alive. And that was something he didn't want them to find out just yet.

He felt something click, and he sprang the plan into action. Because the Land of Wave had deep rivers (hence the need for boats and the bridge) that were fed by the ocean, the appearance of a few sharks wouldn't be too hard to believe.

Plus with the blood he was going to put in the water, there was actually a high chance that actual sharks _would_ appear.

Which was why the backup plan involved the Hidden Mist jutsu (courtesy of Haru) and Zabuza hanging off the bridge until Haru killed off all but one of the Hunters. This would also blow his real cover, thus getting him back into the BINGO book with an actual picture.

Needless to say he was hoping the Jyuken strikes to paralyze Zabuza's arm convinced the Hunters he was eaten by sharks. He had gotten very good at those, though he had yet to master the style. To be honest the looser Kiri style suited his body more.

Unfortunately for Hiashi, Hinata had taken to that style rather well and whenever Haru got her angry enough she lost enough of her stutter to kick her father's ass...only to regress afterwords.

It was something of a game for Haru to see how long it took Hinata to break of her shyness and stay in a somewhat more tolerable complete bitch mode.

Zabuza crashed into the water as planned, and with a timed explosion the blood pack the swordsman had donated went off. A large splash of blood went up, created a credible death, and if tested it would prove to be Zabuza's. Before he could summon a good sized shark, a fin around from the water and came barreling rather fast towards the scene.

Haru was in the water at that time, creating the illusion he had placed the tag underwater...and he had seen Zabuza hiding his chakra while carefully climbing up high enough on one of the outlying pillars that jutted the river. The shark went into total feeding frenzy mode with a little nudging, and none of the Hunters were idiot enough to try and retrieve either body or sword while that shark was around. It left Haru alone only because of the scent he let off claiming he was a predator. And since the sword itself would naturally sink to the bottom, the Hunters would have to bring someone suited to deep diving and hope that they could find it in the muck.

Once Haru came up from behind Gato and decapitated him, the bandits started to back off. It wasn't until he really let go of the Hidden Mist jutsu that the screams started.

Everyone else was too tired to fight bandits, and Haru was just plain bored. Though later Kakashi would swear he had spent far too much time around Anko to be healthy if he got off on killing such weaklings.

The villagers scared off what was left, and an all out party ensued.

Haru sent Zabuza off early to Konoha, promising to bring Haku with the team once the bridge was finished. The less people knew that he survived, the better.

* * *

Zabuza arrived in the dead of night and came across Anko first. She took him to the Hokage without a word.

"Welcome to Konoha, Momochi-san," said Sarutobi.

Zabuza grinned. He didn't mind being in a village of tree huggers if it meant Haru explained how he knew of Yagura's fate when the two (as far as he knew) had never met once in real life. Or how he knew for a fact that Zabuza had been best friends with the Fourth Mizukage.

"We may as well get a few things out of the way. Haru has acquired a house with enough rooms for six people, two of which belong to him and Naruto. He said he doesn't mind you crashing there until you find a place you like or you decide to stay there permanently."

What Sarutobi _didn't_ mention was that they had gotten the house right after the Mizuki incident, and that it actually belonged to Naruto from his parents. Haru had applied for a house in the village for years now, and he had finally gotten enough cash to buy it legally. People who tried to buy it before often ended up in 'mysterious and painful accidents' which was actually the Hokage's way of keeping it for Naruto.

Which meant the place was still fully furnished and that Naruto would still have an inheritance.

"I gotta admit, I never expected Kisame's brat to end up a tree hugger. Or to be able to get us a second chance at joining a village," said Zabuza.

"Haru has the luck of the gods. Brat has managed to win at any gambling related event Anko had put him in, sometimes involuntarily."

Anko puffed up her chest, causing a few interesting nosebleeds from the ANBU and the Hokage at the sight.

"Brat's good. I can't wait to have him become my official minion. Stupid age restriction..."

"Age restriction?"

"The Civilian council, when they learned that Haru was a former Hunter nin managed to get an age restriction in place for the Interrogation department with the backing of the Shinobi half. Apparently the evil cackles Anko and Haru let off caused the majority vote to go against them. Something about keeping such insanity separate for as long as humanly possible," said Sarutobi.

"No one under 16 is allowed to work Interrogation unless they're chunin. Haru's barely 15," said Anko sourly. Then she remembered the fun the two had while drunk and perked up.

"Say...how good are you at holding your liquor?" she asked with a leer.

Zabuza backed away from her, almost hiding behind the Hokage.

"Please try to avoid jumping me...?" he almost begged.

"You can rape him later Anko. Standard entry interrogation first."

"Whoot! I'm getting a new toy!" cheered Anko.

Zabuza sweatdropped...and feared for his sanity. At least things wouldn't be boring.

* * *

"So you ended up buying the house that by all rights should belong to your brother-in-all-but-blood Naruto? And he doesn't know?"

"I know who his dad is, but the Hokage threatened to hang me by my balls if I blabbed before blondie hit chunin first. It's not exactly _my_ fault that he ordered all the pictures destroyed and Kiri didn't," said Haru.

Haku and Haru were drinking sake by the fire, enjoying the night as they caught up. It was like they were back in Kiri and Haku was giving him ideas to prank Kisame with again.

Kisame still hated the time Haru had turned the hooker he had paid good money for into an old hag right in the middle of... The boy had laughed his ass off, and claimed the ass kicking through training totally worth it, even if the woman had actually hit harder.

Something he told Zabuza, which the man paid him back for by helping him find a really good blacksmith to forge a proper sword for him while the man went to mock Kisame with that information.

He still had that sword.

"So what was it like dealing with that potentially gay swordsman?" he asked.

"You know he's going to withdraw his assistance in training you in kenjutsu if he hears that, right?"

"Bah, once he figures out I'm the only one good enough to give him a _real_ workout in Konoha, he won't have a choice. I swear some of my sword muscles have started to atrophy without a decent sparring partner giving their all. Aside from that weapon's... Oh dear kami, we should really head to Konoha. I can't wait to see how Zabuza avoids her...!" cackled Haru.

"Haru-nii, what's with the demonic cackle of pain?" yawned Naruto.

"Tenten. Zabuza. Big ass sword. Actual Swordmaster."

"Oh. Carry on then. I'll have the clones pick up some cameras and tape recorders so we can hang it over his head," said Naruto with glee.

"I have taught you the great art of blackmail well, young padawan."

"You really need to quit quoting that movie. I know their swords were awesome, but seriously, it's annoying."

"NEVAR!"

"What movie?"

"_Star Wars_. Haru-nii loves the giant glow sticks of doom."

_(So do I actually, and I have seen all the movies at least twenty times...except the third one. That one was just plain half assed. Though I have also seen the Lord of the Rings like fifty times, and can practically quote from the movies. GIANT GLOW STICKS OF DOOM FOR THE WIN, BITCHES!)_

"Mwahahaha! Once I have figured out how to create Light Sabers, all my enemies shall bow before me!" cackled Haru like he was, well, Anko.

Haku and Naruto started to back away from the insane teen, who still couldn't figure out how to combine lightning and wind chakra into a sword to make it into a ninja-light saber. But once he did...

The Elemental countries were so screwed.

"What do we do?" asked Haku nervously.

"I got this. Haru-nii, I have a special Icha Icha winter volume signed by Jiraiya. Think Kakashi could part with his only signature technique if we held it hostage?" asked Naruto.

"Why would that...?"

"Come minion! We must blackmail Kakashi with his precious for jutsu!" said Haru, grabbing Naruto.

"See you in an hour. I hope," said Naruto with a sweat drop. Very few things could snap Haru out of a _Star Wars _induced frenzy.

Blackmail was one of those things.


	6. Chapter 6

The group headed back to Konoha with a new member. Haku and the others were still avoiding Haru, since he was once again back on his Giant Glow Sticks of Doom rant. It didn't help that once he actually managed to create a light saber, he was going to show Tenten how to make her own, since she was the person to get him addicted to _Star Wars_ in the first place.

Haru was making them run for Konoha because he really, _really _wanted to see her reaction to Zabuza's sword. The girl was the worst weapon's otaku he had ever met, and should he ever get a light saber, or worse Samehada he didn't doubt for a second she would either jump him or haunt him for a chance to try them out herself.

Fortunately he had managed to find a way to keep her near orgasmic desire for all things sharp, pointy and/or explosive to a contained level whenever he got a new toy to play with. Either way, he still found the looks his cousin shot him for hanging around Tenten too much hilarious, considering he had no interest in her and Neji did.

* * *

"Yo, Izumo! Kotetsu! We're baaack~!" Haru said in sing song.

"About damn time! You guys know anything about the new jounin we got?" asked Kotetsu.

"Yup! We even got his missing apprentice!" said Haru cheerfully.

Izumo noted the looks they were shooting Haru, and it didn't take two guesses what they were about.

"Giant Glow Sticks rant again?" he asked.

"And the I'm-gonna-get-good-blackmail-material rant," said Naruto sagely.

"Good Blackmail rant?"

"The new jounin has a very shiny new sword that has abilities Tenten has yet to encounter," said Naruto, nodding.

"Ah. Carry on then," said the duo in agreement. Tenten's love for all things sharp and pointy were well known to them, considering more than one time she had been dragged across the village holding onto Haru's leg while he tried to dislodge her. She was the scariest fan girl he had, since he shared her love of swords.

And Haru had his on league of fan girls that were strangely enough, on par with the Uchiha clan back in it's prime. Sasuke often tried (and failed sadly) to shift his horde of fans onto Haru.

Haru's _special friend_ Anko managed to keep him from being swarmed by that horde.

If Kakashi knew what Haru did in his spare time at night, he would be joining the Hokage and several ANBU in the corner, shivering from the nightmares those two induced when they were together.

* * *

Sarutobi watched as Team 7 more or less glared at Haru while they gave their report. Hearing his plan to fake Zabuza's death was actually quite brilliant.

Having a pint of blood in the water with an explosion laced with a shark attracting oil in an area that close to salt water was ingenious. Especially since no one would question the presence of the shark in the first place, and with a feeding frenzy going on, no one would think to look for a body.

And with the amount of muck at the bottom of those rivers, it would be a real pain to locate the sword itself. A clean faked death.

"He was doing a double rant all the way back, wasn't he?" asked Sarutobi in amusement.

"Blackmail and Glow Sticks. Has Tenten run into Zabuza yet?"

"Not as far as I'm aware. You still have time to get the appropriate cameras to capture the event _and_ alert the ANBU about the disturbance."

"Great! I'll be right back old man!" said Naruto cheerfully.

Naruto returned in time to find Haku getting a shiny new Leaf headband and directions to the house Haru had bought. Very few people were going to complain he bought the Fourth's house since most believed it to be cursed.

"I got the cameras and the video recorders. The ANBU have been alerted to what we plan to do too," said Naruto.

"Good. In that case, I release you to cause as much mayhem in the name of blackmail material," said Sarutobi with a dark chuckle. Naruto always shared the blackmail with the Hokage, to keep the person in question in line. It was how he got Kakashi to come to meetings an hour late instead of three.

Haru cackled evilly, and they went to find Zabuza. At this time of day, Tenten was usually in training ground five with Neji.

* * *

"I don't see why you dragged me from the bar to this training ground," complained Zabuza. He had a good buzz going, which was the only reason he wasn't complaining. Though he did wonder why the blonde brat had cameras.

"OI! Tenten! Get your panda ass over here!" shouted Haru.

Tenten looked over to where Haru was...and paused. She started to drool uncontrollably when she saw Zabuza and his shiny sword.

"Is that Kubikiri Hochou?!" she asked.

Zabuza was starting to back away from the crazed girl.

"It is...and this is the same man who originally mastered it. Maybe he'll let you..."

Tenten was on him like Naruto on free Ichiraku Ramen...or Anko on Dango. There was no escape. Tenten was drooling without stopping at the sight of such a well made sword. Neji glared at his cousin.

It didn't take long for Zabuza to run away screaming his head off as the crazed girl tried to steal his sword. Naruto cackled evilly as he sent his shadow clone army (henged to avoid civilians from raising a fuss) armed with a thousand cameras and video recorders to capture the entire event in as many different angles as possible.

By the end of the day, Zabuza was as tired as he had ever been, Haru was cackling and eating popcorn with Naruto, Anko and Haku, and Tenten had finally managed to get Zabuza's sword. He was actually crying because the girl was literally raping his beloved weapon with her eyes. It would take _weeks_ for him to be able to look at the sword without bawling. Needless to say Tenten was very happy with Haru, and Neji was spitting nails.

* * *

Haru was grinning evilly. He had just been told by Anko that he would be entering the Chunin exams with Haku as his only teammate. It was merely a formality for both of them, considering they were both already at chunin already, and the two just needed to go through the exam to keep the other villages happy. Zabuza had agreed to play their jounin instructor since Anko was selected as proctor. It actually made more sense than it didn't, because Zabuza was extremely familiar with both their fighting styles. Haru and Haku made a formidable team...especially when Haku found out that for some odd reason Haru could go into the Demonic Ice Mirrors with her. Not even Zabuza could pull that off.

They would be extremely lucky to find a third to make a proper ninja team. And sadly Naruto was stuck with the banshee and emo since Haru was only a spare on their team.

However that didn't mean Naruto was going to stick with his team all the way in the Forest of Death, which he planned to ditch the two of them and team up with Haru and Haku.

The two considered Naruto as a younger brother, which suited him just fine.

"So how has evading Tenten been? I heard you've made some progress with...what did you call it? Giant Glow Sticks of Doom?" asked Haku.

"Mwahahaha. I've found a new book on seals and inside was one for lightning composition for swords. I put it inside the hilt of a test sword and that thing lit up like a torch! While it is almost light saber level, I still need a wind composition seal that can work with lightning and a way to keep the sword glowing before I take over the Elemental Countries with such sheer awesomeness," said Haru with an evil gleam.

"Remind me why we're best friends again?" asked Haku sweatdropping.

"...Because I was the only person who knew you were a kekkei genkai user in Kiri who didn't want your head on a pike and you were the only one to ever offer constructive pranking ideas against Kisame? Plus we both have assholes for masters?" said Haru after thinking for a bit.

"...Ah, yes. It sometimes bears repeating," she said with anime tears.

"Which reminds me. I have an anime you'll love, because one of the guys on it has techniques similar to your bloodline."

"What's it called?"

"_Yu Yu Hakusho._ During this weird demon tournament thing, they had this demon shinobi named Touya who uses ice and..."

A week later Zabuza became Haku's new pin cushion as she tested some of those tricks she saw on that anime. Needless to say Haru was very impressed...though he cackled evilly when Naruto finally figured out a way to recreate Jin's Tornado Fists technique.

The Hokage was still getting reports about a flying fox container cackling like Anko.

* * *

"Normally I would be worried about you three taking the exam on your first year...but the terrible Sword duo has promised to keep an eye on you for me," said Kakashi.

"Whoot! Sword masters for the win!" said Naruto with a loud cheer.

Naturally Naruto loved the two of them like family, and thought of Zabuza as a crazy uncle, to his amusement. As a result Naruto had seriously been considering taking up a sword.

"We don't need them to watch out for us..." sneered Sasuke. The boy really, _really_ didn't like Haru. Haru was not only better than Sasuke (never even needing his bloodline to kick said Emo's ass) but even when Sasuke unlocked his Sharingan, Haru took any chance he could to whittle down Sasuke's ego to manageable levels. Unlike most of Konoha, Haru didn't kiss the ground the Uchiha walked on.

He mocked Sasuke without a second thought, and then humiliated the boy. He was currently on Sasuke's revenge list right up there with his brother Itachi.

What Sasuke _didn't_ know was that Haru had met Itachi before he was on the run, and Itachi had liked him enough to spar with. Even now, Itachi occasionally sent messages through Jiraiya's spy network so he could chat with Haru.

It amused him endlessly that he could give Itachi dirt on his Akatsuki partner...who happened to be his former master Kisame. Kisame still didn't know _where_ Itachi heard those particular stories...because they were downright humiliating to the blue man.

"It's a _good_ thing they've agreed to keep an eye on you, because some of those genin are more bloodthirsty than Anko, and since you are still rookies in every sense of the word you would be prey to them," said Kakashi flatly.

"Well, except for Naruto, since Haru had been training him frequently and his stamina has only been seen in one pair of shinobi that shall not be named..." Kakashi amended.

"_YOUTH!"_ screamed a pair of voices in the distance, and Naruto shuddered.

"Kakashi-sensei, make the scary spandex and genjutsu go away..." whimpered Naruto.

"I wish I could Naruto, I wish I could," said Kakashi, shuddering with him. The other two shared a look. Once they got over their Sunset of Youth flashbacks, Kakashi handed over the paperwork. Naruto ran off to get Haru's help filling it out.

* * *

Haru walked up to Team Gai with a quirked eyebrow.

"You guys finally get clearance to enter the exams this year?"

"Gai-sensei has agreed to..." started Lee enthusiastically before Neji put his hand over the boy's mouth out of reflex. Haru tended to get very...stab happy...if the word youth was used around Gai or his clone. He had a nervous reflex that only started _after_ he experienced the infamous Sunset of Youth. Needless to say he had been affected worse than most.

"Oh goody! Tenten, if you stalk me in the forest I won't help you get any new shiny toys...or give you the current schematics for the rant that which we are no longer aloud to mention within village limits."

Haru was still annoyed that he wasn't allowed to go into his Giant Glow Sticks of Doom rant within village limits anymore. Or that the Hokage had banned any store from selling him a new copy of _Star Wars_ once he wore out his copies.

Maybe he shouldn't have reenacted some of the battle scenes with Tenten as Princess Leia, Neji as Han, Kiba as Chewie, Naruto as Luke, and himself as Darth Vader... Though Lee did do a surprisingly believable Sith Lord... Though Sasuke was still mad that somehow they had gotten him, Chouji and Shino into actual Ewok suits instead of Storm Troopers...

Sakura and Ino had fan girl flashbacks as they practically jumped Sasuke once they realized he was in that Ewok costume. It had disturbed their teammates to no end, because no one had realized that the two girls were furry enthusiasts.

Tenten leveled a sad look at him.

"Darn. You always find the best shinys..." she said kicking a rock. Then her head turned over the rant bit and she looked at him.

"Wait... You have new schematics for the GGSD?!"

"Found a new seal that gives lightning compositions. It lights up decently enough, but the real bitch is finding a wind seal that would work alongside it and turn it into a real saber," said Haru sagely.

"We need a seal master," she complained.

"Yes, yes we do. I have heard that the author of _Icha Icha _is a seal master...and that he'll be in town for the exams after the second task though," said Haru.

Neither noticed Neji slipping away to speak to Kakashi.

* * *

"Kakashi, we have trouble. Haru knows Jiraiya is in town and he plans to get a wind composition seal from him," said Neji.

"Crap. It's bad enough he found that book with the lightning one before I did," said Kakashi.

Kakashi and Neji had formed an alliance against Tenten, Naruto and Haru. They were determined to keep them from _ever_ completing their little Light Saber project. It was bad enough when they just ranted about it. Should they ever get it completed then they planned to cause more chaos than Gai's Unspeakable genjutsu of Youth.

Fortunately, Haru and Tenten were unaware of the Hatake clan's special swords, which had a tendency to glow brightly when enhanced by lightning chakra. As it was, Kakashi had hidden all the ones he could get his hands on before they learned about it.

Now they just needed to bring Jiraiya in on their side before Naruto got to him.

* * *

Haru chuckled evilly. Unfortunately for Neji and Kakashi, Zabuza was all for causing mayhem, and he wanted his porn collection signed. Which was why he told Haru exactly where to find Jiraiya to ask for those seals.

It didn't take long to come up with a plan of attack.

Haru walked up in Naruto's Sexy Jutsu henge, asked for the seals he needed and promised to flash Jiraiya (and allow him to grope) if he got the seals he needed.

Jiraiya took one look at that henge, heard the request and what his payment was, and agreed without a second thought. For some reason, Naruto's Sexy Jutsu was practically undetectable from even Kages.

When a crowd of angry women started to form, Haru walked up to them with a smirk and told them the truth. When they learned Jiraiya had groped a _man's_ chest instead of a barely legal girl, they cackled evilly. Poor Jiraiya had no idea what it would do to his reputation later.

Neji and Kakashi arrived five minutes after Haru got his seals, begging Jiraiya not to hand them out. A cloud of depression appeared over their heads when they learned they were too late to stop Haru.

On the plus side, Zabuza got his porn signed.


	7. Chapter 7

_Neji noticed something disturbing on his way to the Academy. Haru had a new sword on his back...and Tenten was drooling._

"_You actually completed it?!"_

"_My Light Saber is complete...which means..."_

"_WE MUST CONQUER THE WORLD!" they said in unison._

"GAH!" cried Neji as he shot up from his bed.

"Neji! What's wrong?!" asked Hizashi from his room.

"I had a nightmare that Tenten and Haru completed that stupid light saber project they're always going on about and planned to take over the world again."

"Ah, the Glow Stick of Doom project. Carry on then," said Hizashi.

"You don't understand dad... Haru got help from _Jiraiya_ on the seals he needed. He might actually _complete_ that stupid project before the exams start."

"Please for the love of Inari tell me you are joking," said Hizashi.

"He used Naruto's stupid henge and got there before we did," said Neji.

Hizashi paled...and ran to his brother who was having his first morning coffee.

"We have a problem."

"What sort of problem?"

"Haru got his hands on some seals that might complete that project he's always ranting about. Apparently he tricked Jiraiya-sama into giving them to him with Uzumaki's henge trick," said Hizashi.

"...DAMN!"

"Should we alert the clan about a CODE SABER?" asked Hizashi nervously.

Haru had issues with a few clan elders, because they pushed to have the Caged Bird Seal on him once they found out he had the bloodline of the clan. Fortunately his status as a former Kiri nin had saved him from getting it, so he was a Hyuuga without the name. They couldn't put a seal on him since he wasn't officially part of the clan, being born outside the village.

And that was something he would never let them do regardless.

"Wait and see if the seals Jiraiya-sama gave him works. Have a few of the more secretive members keep an eye on him."

"And if he actually succeeds?"

"We take the clan to the special base prepared for this very scenario and wait until his chakra goes down enough to confiscate the damn things, burn his notes and then use our Jyuken to erase all his memories," said Hiashi without a second thought.

There was a reason why the Hyuuga feared for the day Haru ever completed his light saber prototype. The boy hanged around Anko far, far too much to be healthy, and had plans to rule the world if he ever got a working light saber going.

That being said, they would lay all the fines incurred during the time he had his light saber solely on him.

* * *

Haru glared at his sword. It was the one he had had since leaving Kiri...and the thing snapped in half during a spar with Zabuza.

"Dammit, that's the third time this year," said Haru crossly. Tenten could reforge it for him, but he was getting tired of having to get it remade.

Zabuza snorted.

"You've had that sword for nearly ten years now. Any real master could tell you've taken meticulous care of it, but perhaps it's time to retire it?"

"I've had it too long to keep it retired forever...but I can make it the base of my Light Saber once I get a working prototype," said Haru.

Zabuza didn't dismiss the idea, because Haru was a true sword user. And people like them tended to bond with any sword they had gone through trials with. It was only fair to keep the sword hilt and to make it into an actual light saber.

"Come on brat. I know a blacksmith that knows how to forge Clan grade weapons," said Zabuza.

"I wonder if the Hyuuga ever bothered to learn something other than that boring ass Jyuken," asked Haru.

"From what I hear, they specialize more in taijutsu than they do weaponry. Pity you weren't born one of the Uchiha clan. They had some decent swordmasters."

"Yeah, but then people would be kissing my ass more than they already do. That prick Sasuke is bad enough," said Haru.

* * *

"Hello! How may I help you?" asked the blacksmith. He was a new immigrant from the Land of Iron.

"I heard you do good Clan Grade work. My friend here has broken his only sword and he needs a really good replacement."

"Hmm... He is built to handle the sword. May I see the broken pieces?"

Haru handed over his weapon.

"Well at least you're someone who takes his weapons seriously. This blade is almost completely ruined from use, but I can tell that you at least spend once a week in maintenance and know what you are doing. The hilt is salvageable, but the blade itself is a lost cause."

"Damn. I've had this sword for years. It's been my training partner ever since I first took up the art of the blade..." said Haru depressed.

The man looked pleased at his devotion to the sword.

"However, I might be able to reforge it using the metal into a new sword. I'll even re-wrap the hilt if you want."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. It makes me happy to see a young man who takes his sword seriously, and at least tries to take care of their weapon. Most ninja just toss kunai and shuriken with no regard to their blades..."

"I agree completely. My first goal is to obtain Samehada, the sword belonging to my original master. My second is something of an ongoing headache for the populace," said Haru.

The man looked at him again, and something clicked.

"Ah. You must be the young one that the Hokage warned me about. Something about trying to recreate the light sabers from those old movies...?"

"My giant glow sticks of doom. When I complete that I will pwn anyone who looks at me funny for trying to pull it off. I ever heard that my cousins have made plans to run like hell for a secret base until I run out of chakra before they destroy all copies of my notes and destroy the only prototypes I have for it..." said Haru with a silly grin.

"You actually scare the Hyuuga with that plan of yours?" said Zabuza amused.

"I scare EVERYONE with that plan of mine. The Hokage has a run on sight order if I ever succeed."

"With a determination like that, I'm surprised that you haven't tried to get your hands on a Hatake blade," said the blacksmith.

"Hatake blade?"

"They have the ability to streamline chakra to the point that the blade glows an unearthly white color."

"...So _that's_ what Kakashi was rushing all over the village for after Neji spoke to him..." said Haru sadistically.

"Get me copies of his reaction if you ever get your hands on a blade," cackled Zabuza.

"What exactly is your specialty young man?"

"Underwater combat. My main element is water, though I do have an Earth affinity as well. My primary ability is to swim through the earth like it's water, though even I have no idea how I can pull that off," he admitted.

"Who cares? You're worse that Kisame with that trick, and you know he's called the Tailless Bijuu thanks to his sword."

"So you primarily rely on your ability to swim...which means extra resistant metal towards rust...and the ability to streamline chakra ..."

"Just to let you know, I have a crapton of chakra that I don't use. It'll be put through a lot of channeling," said Haru quickly.

"Extra reinforcement of chakra enforced metal. Fortunately for you, I have notes from my previous master who made the swords that belong to Killer Bee, who is known to use seven of them. Thankfully I will need to use extremely rust resistant metal instead of the kind that resists the effect lightning has..."

Haru winced.

"How much are we talking about here?" he asked seriously.

"Let me put it this way. Unless you complete a B rank within the next month, you'll be paying this off for a few months, a year tops. Like I said earlier, be glad you aren't a lightning or fire element. The metal required for their swords is much more expensive than a water or earth type. It's practically triple the cost."

"...Damn. Thank Inari Fox boy taught me how to do shadow clones. You and Haku are alright if I do solo missions for a week or so right?"

"Go for it...wait, what the hell are you planning?"

"There is a current surplus of D and very low C ranks inside the village. How long until I get my new sword?"

"Give me a week or so. It'll be done in time for the exams."

"That'll be enough. Not like I can't unleash something destructive if I have to..."

* * *

"You want to _what_?" asked Iruka.

"I plan to do as many D ranks and any C ranks in the village that can be done in a day for the next week."

"WHY?!"

"New sword. I broke the one I use, and I'm getting it replaced with a very high quality replacement. I need to pay for it and this was my first choice."

The Hokage looked amused at the idea, and came up with something that amused him even more.

"How about this. If you can break the current record for D and low C ranks in the village completed in one week, I'll pay for half your replacement," he said.

"Done!"

"But if you fail, then you have to surrender any notes you have made on that project of yours."

"I'll hand over any notes_ I_ have within the limits of Konoha," said Haru promptly.

"Fair enough."

"In that case...load me up Iruka!" said Haru with an insane gleam.

By the end of that week, Haru had not only beaten the current record of completed D ranks in a week...he had obliterated it to the point that the other shinobi stared at him in disbelief.

The reason was simple really...Haru spammed shadow clones worse than Naruto did on over half and had them fill out the mission reports. He had done so many D ranks in the village that he had earned enough to qualify it as a middle class S rank.

Needless to say he paid off the blacksmith for his replacement sword.

* * *

"FINALLY! That week was so damn long!" said Haru.

"Come on Haru-nii, it wasn't that bad," said Naruto.

"It is when you've been stuck at genin level for far too damn long. I want this stupid exam over and done with so I can be at chunin level already!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. It was difficult to earn a rare field promotion when you were stuck doing D ranks until you had proven your worth.

And Haru had sworn to cause all hell to break loose if his baby brother (as he considered Naruto) didn't make chunin because of the Uke and the Banshee.

(Naruto, Kiba and a good many of the younger shinobi nearly bust a gust laughing their ass off when he first called Sasuke an Uke. The number of practice kunai he had to dodge that day was entirely worth it.)

"So, are you ready?"

"Yup! All of the gear is stored in seals, no worries there!" said Naruto.

"Good. I've talked to the Hokage, and he's agreed to label you as part of our team in case the banshee and the duck butt ditch you on purpose. As far as he's concerned, you're our third."

"Does that mean they can go into the forest with only two members?"

Haru grinned evilly. Here was the loophole that they _didn't_ know about, but he did.

"Oh, they could try to play that card, but it won't work. If they ditch you deliberately, then they automatically fail the second part. And they'll be stuck doing teamwork exercises until they learn to work with us. And since you're our unofficial third, you get to pass the second half with _us_."

Haru had come up with that one himself. The Hokage and Kakashi agreed mostly because it was a great way to unofficially test their teamwork. If they couldn't work with Naruto in something as important as an advancement test, then clearly they weren't ready to be chunin. And Naruto was clearly the most skilled of the three, so there wasn't any reason to make him deal with the two when there was a team in the exam that had an open spot that he could work with.

Perhaps this would teach them to look underneath the underneath.

* * *

Haru was so bored during the first exam that he actually fell asleep halfway through. He had already completed what he could, so he wouldn't fail unless Haku got caught or gave up. He didn't wake up until Naruto slammed his hand against the desk, and then gave a speech he barely listened to.

When Anko crashed into the room, he did the first thing that came to mind.

He gave her an appreciative wolf whistle. She glared until she saw who it was.

"Brat, be grateful I happen to actually _like_ you," she growled.

"Who wouldn't like someone this sexy?" he catcalled.

Her grin was more than a little disturbing.

"Give me one good reason not to make you a eunuch!" she said.

"Because then you would be stuck alone with only your snakes to keep you 'company' late at night!" he shot back.

Ibiki gave her an incredulous and horrified stare.

"Please for the love of Inari tell me you and he..."

Haru grinned and gave his best Gai pose as he leered at Anko. Ibiki suddenly had the urge to throw up before he ran away screaming his head off. At the very least he had to warn the Hokage that the two were a little too familiar with each other.

"Alright maggots! Training Ground 44 in an hour!" she barked.

Haru tried very hard not to react to Haku's sudden increase of KI directed towards him...

* * *

Haku got prepared for a five day run in the forest. While she prepared her bag, she went over how she felt about Haru.

When she learned that he and that jounin were intimate, she felt a pang of anger and jealousy towards the woman. Haru pretended not to notice the killing intent she sent his way, but she knew he sensed it.

Oh well, she could always get answers in the forest, where Haru would be unable to get away without losing his best chance at ditching D rank missions ever again.

Every time she thought of Haru, her heart skipped a beat. The boy was strong, almost as strong as her surrogate father. And he had been raised the same way she had, even if he became a missing nin before his master did. The two of them worked together better than most ANBU units.

Perhaps now she would be able to answer her question about the feeling she had about Haru. Nothing brought people together like life or death situations after all...


	8. Chapter 8

Naruto, while unhappy to be stuck with the two people who really hated him, was glad when his unique sense of smell picked up Haku and Haru. Sasuke and Sakura had ditched him without a second thought the first chance they could. When they were informed that Naruto was allowed to act as Team Sword's (that was the nickname for the team under Zabuza's command and it stuck) third, they incorrectly assumed they could pass with only two team members. Fortunately Naruto knew the truth, and the fact that Haru would insure that they would live, if only to keep the councils off his ass.

As it was, Naruto nearly got eaten by snakes _twice_ before he reached the duo.

"The dumbasses ditched me first chance they had. I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they learn that they aren't allowed to pass with just the two of them!" said Naruto annoyed.

"Frankly I'm amazed Sasuke ditched you. Five days with one of his loudest and most annoying fan girls?" grinned Haru.

"So Haku, you confess yet or what?" asked Naruto.

"Actually she was probably about to try and get me to fess up about my relationship with the proctor," said Haru without turning around.

Naruto looked at Haku who wasn't denying the accusation.

"Don't worry too much about Anko-nee. While she and Haru often do adult stuff together, it's more of an agreement to scratch certain itches. Though it's still funny to see Haru-nii come home with the worst hangovers..."

"So you two aren't..."

"We're bump buddies and that's it. I'm one of the few people who can match her blow for blow, and doesn't give two shits about her sensei. In exchange she throws me some high level earth and water jutsu that normally only jounin are allowed to have my way. We're sparring partners and drinking buddies."

"So what do we do now?"

"We pick off a team, then insure those two at least make it to the tower before we head in. At least you won't be held back by those two Naruto," said Haru.

Naruto brightened up. Haru had always been a bit of a loner, but the two of them worked like a well oiled machine in the field. They were practically a two man team anyway. Haku just made it a full team.

"Now, on to other matters. It has come to my attention that there is a ringer in the forest."

"How do you know?"

"I have this odd ability to snake speak," Haru coughed embarrassed. Though that had been the initial reason why Anko had become interested in him.

The two said nothing, but made a motion for him to continue.

"In any event, we have an S class criminal in the forest with us, and I have no clue _why_ he's here."

"Who is here?" asked Haku.

"Orochimaru. The snakes have informed me that the False One, which is what they call him, has returned and that his scent is in the forest. They tolerate Anko because I vouch for her, and the fact that she doesn't make their summons clan look like a joke. I have on me the newest BINGO book. This is his page. I want you both to memorize it and his face. He is likely disguised, so if someone uses snakes to attack you, don't try to attack. Just run like hell."

"What if we can't run?" asked Naruto.

Haru handed over some special flares he picked up from the ANBU.

"Set off three of these. One flare is a marker. Two means aid needed. Three means dangerous opponent."

"What does four mean?" asked Haku.

"Since the standard team is usually four, that many flares means casualties," said Haru deadpan.

"So if we run into that bastard, set off three to alert the ANBU?"

"These are flares reserved for ANBU only. I got them thanks to Anko, so if they're set off, it means a full ANBU squad will show up on our ass. You are only allowed to set them off if Orochimaru shows up. Am I clear?"

"Hai, taicho!"

Recently the two had gotten to calling him taicho, simply because of the way he ordered his clones around during the D Rank bet he had with the Hokage.

"Naruto, stick with Haku while I scout ahead. Three whistles if you need help, okay?"

"Got it!"

* * *

It was Haru who found Sasuke and Sakura first. They had a run in with a Grass nin that was giving off a bad vibe.

Behind him was Haku and Naruto, both following their captain. Haru had gone back and gotten them so that they could get to the center.

When Sasuke and Sakura managed to get out of the ninja's way, the three followed undetected. The Grass nin's focus was solely on Sasuke.

It wasn't until her face started to peel, revealing another underneath that Haru tensed.

"Naruto, set three flares off. Orochimaru is here," said Haru quietly.

Naruto nodded, and the two shot three distinct flares off. The sound pierced through the sky and drew Orochimaru's attention to where they were.

But while he went to deal with the new team, Haru and Haku grabbed the two annoying genin and ran in another direction, Naruto not far behind.

Haru did leave a single note where the ANBU would find it though.

* * *

Anko nearly jumped out of her seat when the flares went off. There was only _one_ genin who had those flares.

Something was wrong.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

"Anko, you won't believe this..." said a random chunin.

The second she saw the bodies, she knew why Haru had used the flares that were only for emergencies.

"Son of a... Get the ANBU here now dammit! Haru's run into Orochimaru!" she barked.

As it was, the second those flares were seen, the ANBU bolted towards them. They were there in mere minutes compared to the half an hour it would have taken. That was how seriously they took the flares.

"Mitarashi, why did you set off the flares?" asked Cat.

"_I_ didn't. Haru did. I gave him my spare set just in case he needed them, since he planned to join the Hunters once this damn exam was over. From what I can tell he must have run into my old teacher," said Anko.

"...Fuck," said Wolf.

"Agreed. Haru knows better than to try and take out Orochimaru, which is why he set off the flares. His main job is to keep the kiddies safe and relatively unharmed until the ANBU show up. Knowing him he'll have left a note at least, so look for it," said Anko.

"Hai!"

Anko ran with one team, while the other went to where the flares were set off. They gave off a certain scent when set off, so it would be fairly easy to find the location with the Inuzuka on their team. An hour in, they came across what appeared to be a large chunk of skin, more specifically the face. One of the ANBU signaled that they had found the discarded flares, and found a note.

"_To whichever ANBU team finds this first: Orochimaru is here...and from what I can tell he is after the Uchiha prick. I managed to get the two brats out of the area before Orochimaru could harm them, but chances are that he will attempt to mark the Uke with the same mark Anko has if he encounters them again. I have no idea what his plans are, we got out of there instead of confronting him. _

_Haru."_

"This kid is good. He got two genin out without getting killed during a live battle exam," said Wolf.

"He is slated to enter the Hunter program once this is over," said Cat.

"What kind of brat is he that he's only becoming a chunin now?" asked Rooster.

"He's a former Kiri nin, and we wanted to be sure of his loyalty. He might have made chunin sooner if he hadn't wanted to graduate with the Kyuubi container."

"Why the hell did Kiri let someone like him go?" asked Wolf incredulous.

Haru had amassed a reputation in the village as someone to watch, and it was a known rule that anyone who was that crazy tended to be beyond strong. The fact he hung out around Anko and Ibiki regularly without flinching didn't hurt the rumors...quite the opposite in fact.

"Who said they did? From what I hear, he accidentally unlocked the Byakugan and blew up their Hunter headquarters since they were still in the middle of the Bloodline purges. According to Anko, he used to _be_ a Bloodline hunter until that point," said Cat.

"Is it true that he's responsible for the influx of new water jutsu?" asked Wolf. He was a water type, and he had found some of the new stuff rather good.

"He copied most of their jutsu library up to the jounin level from what I understand," said Cat.

"This kid is scary good. I can't wait to see how strong he gets once he's let loose," said Wolf appreciatively.

"...He's already in the BINGO books. Just be glad he's on _our_ side," said Cat.

Cat was one of the rare few who sparred with the kid using jutsu...and she knew for a fact the kid was a veritable shark both in the earth or underwater.

Anyone caught on the water with him in it was a dead man, no if's, and's or but's. He was an absolute killing machine that would not hesitate unless it was his ally on the water, and even then he mostly just marked them so that they would live.

Even the Hokage admitted the boy could probably kill him in his prime if he were ever caught on the water.

The radio crackled with sound.

"_We have confirmation. Orochimaru is in the forest. Anko is on the scene with us and she confirmed it."_

Cat got on her radio.

"What of the genin?"

A new voice jumped in on their conversation.

"_Sasuke and Sakura are fine, and Naruto was with my team when they ran into the snake bastard. They are currently attempting to retrieve another scroll, but Team Sword has officially entered the tower. I left the brats close to the tower so they can enter if they have to,"_ said Haru.

"Haru...when the hell did you get a radio?" asked Cat carefully.

"_Don't get your G-string in a twist. I swiped one of the radios from the ANBU guarding the infirmary,"_ chuckled Haru.

The growl Cat had was similar to her namesake.

"Haru... You are a dead man if I find you."

"_Don't blame me. Hayate was the one who mentioned your preference..."_ cackled Haru before his end went dead.

"I swear to kami that if I see that bastard now I will kill him bare handed..." she snarled.

Wolf said nothing...until...

"G-string, really?"

Cat looked at him, just looked at him...before the form of barely surprised feminine rage became apparent and the masked man started to run for his life out of the forest.

* * *

"You do realize she's going to strangle you once she sees you again for that comment," said Haku absolutely amused.

"No, but Hayate's going to go without for a while," said Haru pleased.

"Haru, what have I said about angering my girlfriend to the point of pissing her off?" asked Hayate.

Ironically enough, one of the things Haru had copied before leaving Kiri and making his way as a missing nin was a cure for chronic coughs. As a result, Hayate no longer looked like a swordsman on his last legs.

Apparently Kiri had the cure to his disease and didn't know it.

Ever since then Hayate had been one of his favorite sparring partners.

"Please don't?" said Haru, his head quirking to the side.

"Speaking of friends, Team 7 finally managed to get a second scroll. They just came in..."

"...Let me get our cameras!" said Haru with an evil grin. This was going to be priceless.

Naruto, Haku and Haru were waiting on the balcony for Sasuke and Sakura to roll out their scrolls. This was going to be fun.

With a large poof, Kakashi appeared. He took one look at his team and he frowned.

"Where is Naruto?" he asked seriously.

"We ditched the dead last with the two losers from Kiri," said Sasuke bored. Frankly he could care less about the blonde.

"Yeah! Naruto belongs with those two creeps!" said Sakura.

Neither were aware that the team they were mocking was recording the entire thing...and that they were about to have their revenge.

"So just to be clear...you ditched your teammate onto the only open team soon after entering the forest?" said Kakashi.

The two confirmed it, not realizing what they had just done.

"I was afraid of this..." Kakashi turned to face Haru and said "You were right...they weren't ready to be chunin."

"WHAT?!" said the two angrily.

"Part of the reason I told you that Naruto could be left with Haru and Haku was a test to see how you would act. If you had kept him on _your _team all the way into the forest to the tower up to the point when you unfurled the scrolls, you would have passed and gone into the next round. By ditching him without a second thought, you have not only proven yourselves to be bad teammates, but now your qualifications as _genin_ are put under question. You two are going to have to do a lot of teamwork training before you're allowed a C rank again," said Kakashi annoyed.

The two had broken one of his cardinal rules without thinking twice. He'd be damned if he taught them another thing after this. Not even the civilian council could force him to teach them anything other than teamwork exercises after that kind of stunt.

"Wait, do you mean to tell me we aren't even allowed to pass after the hell we went through to get that second scroll?!" shrieked Sakura.

"In order to pass the second half, you had to enter the tower with all _three_ of you."

"But what about those two Kiri jerks! They were allowed to enter with only two!" said Sasuke.

"They were the exception. Hokage-sama mostly wanted them to get through this as a test to see if they were ready to be chunin. Because of the animosity you two have towards Naruto, he was the only one with the option to join their team since they got along with him. Hokage-sama agreed to this little idea to test and see if you two were willing to put aside your issues with him in order to fulfill a mission where Haru wasn't involved. Unfortunately for you two, you failed that test."

_'And lost me 2,500 ryou to Hokage and 3,000 to Haru. I put too much faith in them...' _thought Kakashi.

"But what about the dobe!?" asked Sasuke irate.

"He is allowed to pass this second half because he was willing to work with Haru and Haku. And the way he reacted to Orochimaru's presence proves that he is more than ready to follow someone else's orders."

"You mean to tell me that he's allowed to join another team and we aren't?" demanded Sasuke.

"Let me put it this way. Unlike _you_ two, Naruto has at least made every effort to work with others and try to add his input to the team. He has at least attempted to work with you and Sakura without once complaining, which is more than I can say about the two of you. Since he at least takes my teamwork training to heart, the Hokage thinks that he shouldn't be held back by two genin who clearly need more time at the Academy to relearn one of the basic principles of our village. We work as a team, we train as a team, and we die as a team. Konoha is one of the only villages that actually _emphasizes_ teamwork," said Kakashi coldly.

Seeing that they didn't get it, Haru came down to explain.

"In Kiri, the qualifications we look for are strength, ability and a willingness to kill others. In Konoha, they look for _teamwork, _ability, and a willingness to protect the people you're working with. After your little stunt of ditching Naruto on _us_, the idea of you two remaining on a team is laughable. Like Kakashi always says, 'Those that don't follow the rules are trash, but those who abandon comrades are worse than trash.'"

"And what you two did falls under that category," said Kakashi.

"In other words...Kakashi, do you want the honors or should I?" asked Haru gleefully.

"They are all yours. Try to aim towards the hospital please," said Kakashi.

Haru grabbed the two brats, went to the roof...and then punted them right into the second story floor of the Konoha hospital.

"Huh...my aim has improved," said Haru with a grin.

"It better have with all the times you've punted that damn cat across the village," said Naruto, holding up a sign with the number 10. Haku had a 9.5, and the ANBU who followed him all had a solid 9 to 10 sign up. Haru bowed to the applause.


	9. Chapter 9

The Hokage gave Haru a look, and he shrugged. Not his fault the banshee broke her leg from landing wrong. He gave her plenty of time to brace for impact when he punted her ass.

"Normally I would reprimand you for that little stunt...but at the moment I am rather curious as to _how_ you managed to get them to the hospital simply by punting them."

Haru jerked his head in Naruto's direction.

"Test dummy. He weighs more than either of them and his clones can't exactly complain that I use them frequently to adjust my aim," he said amused.

"Yeah, right up to the point when you started to use _your_ shadow clones because they weigh more. If I hadn't figured out that trick that they teach you everything because I kept seeing flashes of walls coming right at me at terminal velocity..." grumbled Naruto.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say test dummy," said Haru waving his hand.

"Question," said Iruka, holding up his hand.

"Yes?"

"_Why_ exactly did you start practicing how to punt people?"

Haru grinned and Naruto snickered.

"Have you ever played this game on those new computers called 'Moogle Punt?'. It's addicting as hell. Besides, it looked like fun and Naruto didn't mind that I used his clones as practice dummies...took forever to get it up to my own weight class though..." chuckled Haru.

(There _is_ a game called Moogle Punt, and it's on the Battleon site.)

The Hokage coughed.

"_ANYWAY_, we need to get ready for the preliminaries. Since more than one team passed this time, we'll have to whittle it down a bit," said the Hokage.

"How many teams actually passed?"

"A little under ten," said Sarutobi.

"Right. Mind if we wander the tower then, since our primary distraction is gone?"

"Go for it," shrugged the Hokage.

* * *

Haru paused near the door. He could hear a girl crying and the sound of flesh hitting flesh. There were very few things that had that particular sound, and none of them good.

He broke the door and found the Sound team abusing their female teammate. She had a lot of scars, some of which had barely healed, and a long brush on her legs.

Haru saw red, and the amount of KI he let off caused the two boys to back off. He covered the girl up and took her straight to the infirmary after insuring Naruto would watch her.

There wasn't a chance in hell he was going to allow such abuse to continue as long as she was in Konoha.

"Why?" she finally broke out. She was used to this, but it still hurt.

"Because I don't tolerate abuse. I never have. Everyone deserves respect, no matter what their age or gender."

Naruto took one look at the damage, and stood next to her bed like an Inuzuka hound on guard duty.

Once her wounds were healed to a reasonable level, Haru found himself with an odd problem.

Kin was part of an invasion force, and after the care she just received from the people who were supposed to be her enemy, she was all too willing to switch sides. Fortunately Haku didn't mind sharing a room with the girl.

* * *

Two days later (what was left of Team 7 had arrived on the night of the third day) Haru and the others prepared for a small tournament where they had to win in order to advance to the real third round. Kin remained firmly between Haku and Naruto, who had already kept her former team far away from her.

Apparently they were above using her in any way they wanted, so having some reprieve was welcomed.

"Since there are too many teams, I will give you all one chance to bow out now," said the Hokage.

Only three did, and Haru was looking at Kabuto with a glare. The man reeked of snakes, and he reminded him too much of a spy.

_(I'm going to just cut to the chase. I am NOT going to redo the blasted fights, because it has been done a thousand times already. I'm just going to give you who fought who and who won, and then get to the month long training bit.)_

Pairings:

Yoroi VS Gaara- Gaara

Tenten VS Zaku- Tenten

Haru VS Kankuro- Haru (with a badly PWNED Kankuro)

Naruto VS Ino- Naruto

Kiba VS Dosu- Dosu

Haku VS Neji- Haku

Hinata VS Shino- Shino

Temari VS Chouji- Temari

Lee VS Shikamaru- Shikamaru (barely)

Kin trounced the last match, which meant there would only be five matches in the real finals.

"Everyone, pick a number."

The final matches would be: Kin VS Haku, Gaara VS Haru, Naruto VS Tenten, Dosu VS Shikamaru and Shino VS Lee.

* * *

"So what do you plan to do for the month?" asked Naruto.

"_We_ are going to work on your ability to hold your breath again. Five minutes is barely enough for most poisons to dissipate," said Haru.

"OI! Some of us can't breath underwater like a damn fish you know!" shouted Naruto.

"I do not breath like a fish. I, unlike you, can hold my breath for long periods of time because of practice," said Haru with his nose in the air.

"No, he's right. You do breath like a fish," said Haku dryly.

"And what exactly makes you say that?"

"I recall a certain Hunter who mentioned doing a mission where he had to stay underwater for three days, and ate nothing but raw fish until his target came along, when you jumped out of the water and cut off his head with a kunai, before swimming three miles upstream to evade capture," said Haku mock thinking.

Naruto glared at Haru, who pouted.

"Dammit, see if I tell you any of my cool missions again!"

The two laughed at him. Mostly because the idea of someone being able to stay underwater for three days without coming up once is rather ridiculous.

Haru was so annoyed that he made a bet with them.

"Fine, since you don't believe me I challenge you two to a bet!"

"What are the terms?"

"I bet I can last _four_ days without coming up underwater~! If I can't I'll buy Naruto ramen for a week!"

"If you can?" asked Naruto, liking this bet already.

"Then you two have to do me one favor each, no restrictions."

"Now hold on a minute! I refuse to do something that will get me arrested or kicked out of the village!" said Haku.

"By no restrictions, I meant no restrictions on what to ask. Anything that gets you into that much trouble isn't something I would ask because of a bet," said Haru. He liked them too much to do something like _that_ to them.

"In that case...you're on sempai," said Haku grinning.

"Sempai?"

"You are technically the oldest of us, and you've been a ninja longer. So Sempai is the correct term," said Haku.

"I preferred it when you called me taicho," said Haru grinning.

Haku did the only thing that came to her after years of dealing with Zabuza. She slapped him upside the head.

"OW!"

* * *

Haru heard the man before he saw him.

"Hoh? Is that Jiraiya of the Sannin I hear peeping?" he grinned. While he admitted to being a pervert, he had to admit, Jiraiya was a class his own.

That didn't mean he read _Icha Icha_ though. Jiraiya might be one of the strongest men from Konoha, but his writing wasn't worth the paper it was printed on.

"Oi! Toad Sensei!" Haru yelled.

"SHHH! Do you _want_ me to get caught!?" hissed Jiraiya.

"Dude, if you put _half_ your effort into writing something worth reading, it might actually be good!" grinned Haru.

"Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" said Jiraiya annoyed.

"Your _books_ are half assed. The porn inside is decent enough, but the plot lines have so many holes it's no wonder few women read it."

"Oi. I'll have you know that I am the Great Jiraiya, Super Pervert Extraordinaire! Women flock to me in droves!"

"...Is that why there are a horde of pissed off females behind you with weapons drawn looking like they're out for blood?" he asked, cocking his head.

"...What...?"

Jiraiya slowly turned and saw a veritable horde of angry females. Not a single hand was empty, as every one of them had a kunai...even the civilian ones.

"...I hate you kid."

Haru grinned, made a shadow clone, and told Haku and Naruto that the bet was on at the lake outside the hot springs. Then he jumped in the lake and avoided most of the sharp pointy objects about to impale him. Jiraiya wasn't so lucky.

* * *

Haku and Naruto came to the hot springs and saw a crowd of irate women around the lake, looking really pissed.

"What's going on?"

"Jiraiya and an accomplice were peeping at us! We want to teach the little perv a lesson!" said a civilian woman.

Haku sweatdropped.

"Did this accomplice have black hair, green eyes and a sword on his back with a well worn hilt?" she asked.

"That's the brat!" growled one of the chunin.

"Dammit Haru, why did you have to drag us into this mess," growled Haku.

Naruto on the other hand, grinned.

"Ladies, how would you like to help us with a bet. Our friend has made a wager that he can stay underwater for four days without coming up. Now I think he intends to avoid your righteous fury by staying in that lake until you give up. How would you like to prove him wrong?" asked Naruto.

* * *

Haru looked up from the water to see several people waiting. Not a single one was a man, from what he could tell.

_Shit. I think Naruto goaded those chicks to stay the entire four days!_

Inside, he could hear the Sanbi laughing at him.

_**It's your own damn fault for setting the terms of the bet! You know the minute you try to get above water they're going to kick your ass.**_

_...I'm going to make that brat pay for this._

_**How?**_

_I don't know, but I'll think of something. After all, we have four days to plot a way to make his life hell._

_**...I thought you decided to never do a day long stint of being underwater after you ate that fish that gave you diarrhea for a week?**_

_I so hate you right now._

_**I love you two brat. Well since we're going to be stuck here because of that damn bet you made, why don't you practice that secondary power of yours.**_

_And suddenly I like you again. It's a miracle. What should we do first?_

_**Well since you insist on trying to recreate that blasted sword you saw in the movie, how about learning how to cut using wind magic? While that lightning seal you found was a good start, it won't last and you'll have to keep replacing the blades. Lightning chakra has a natural ability to destabilize metal, even if it was designed to conduct it.**_

_And the second it breaks my research will be gone. Dammit. I still don't know why people hate it when I go on about one of my few hobbies..._

_**You hang out with the Snake Woman and rant about creating Giant Glow Sticks of Doom to rule the world with. As far as they are concerned you're as mentally unstable as she is.**_

_Point. The only issue is that I have no idea what 'Runes' as you call them, would work to create a light saber out of magic._

_**Fortunately for you, I am aware of a few people who could train you. The only issue is that they're on the other side of the Veil, and the second you step past this side the ones who have been trying to find you for the past four and a half years will pick up on your signature again.**_

_Great. How bad is it that they are still looking for me?_

_**They are fully aware that you are alive and well, but it angers them that they cannot locate you with anything they try. Had any of them actually remembered their history and the Veil, they might have found you before this entire debacle. As it stands, when they **_**DO****_ find you, we are going to have some fun with them._**

_Define fun please._

_**Fun, I/E we are going to completely fuck with their heads because they can't handle what you are really like and the fact that you have a bloody demon inside of you that allows you to pwn their greatest fighters. The sad fact is that you mostly need a few books and you could completely decimate their kind. Your control over your powers is staggering, especially for someone of your age. They will underestimate you because of it.**_

_Wait...do you mean that I'm..._

_**You are going to be allowed to pull a total Naruto moment, in which you completely and utterly prank an entire civilization of magic users, simply because you can. Though the fan girls are going to be more annoying there than they are here...**_

_Fan Girls ARE annoying, no matter what training level they're at. Speaking of which, here comes a pissed off ANBU probably here to see if I'm still alive._

Haru started swimming languidly, shocking the woman. He didn't have a single re-breather, and he had been talking to his bijuu for over an hour. Most shinobi would have croaked from lack of air by this point without aid or a small air pocket in the water.

Haru took out a kunai, and speared a fish that looked like it was somewhat edible. He then proceeded to shock the woman even further by eating it raw, revealing two rows of razor sharp teeth much like a sharks.

She swam up rather quickly after that, her face in shock.

_**Well, since you've just terrified that woman of water for the foreseeable future, how about we work on that animal transformation?**_

_You mean that skill you called animagi training? Meh, why not._

Haru was unusually skilled at animal transformations. Once he finished off the fish he had killed, he went to the bottom and sat on a long rock.

His mind cleared as he focused only on his spirit animal, which ironically (or perhaps not, considering his bijuu's form) was a great white shark. Slowly his hands and feet melded into fins, and his sword became a long dorsal fin on his back. His human shaped teeth went into his mouth and shark teeth fell down into their place.

That was always ones of his favorite pranks. He could, if he felt like it, bring out the shark teeth at any time without transforming into a shark. His black hair became a pale version of itself, and his bottom half became white as snow. Once the transformation was complete, Haru gave a toothy grin.

He'd forgotten why he loved turning into a shark.

He spent two days scaring the living hell out of the people watching from the shore, who couldn't believe there was a massive shark in the lake. On the fourth day, Haru shot out of the lake with such force he drenched the onlookers before he flipped and shifted back into human form.

Naruto and Haku cursed. They didn't know he could do that, and as such never said he couldn't.

No wonder his victim never detected him. No one would expect a damn shark to come out of the water deliberately with a kunai.


	10. Chapter 10

Thirteen years. That was how long it had been since Harry James Potter had been seen in the magical world. Twelve years since the defeat of the Dark Lord at his hands, and a mere ten since someone finally took notice that he wasn't where he supposed to be.

Petunia Dursley was adamant that her nephew had never once graced the home of Number 4, and against all the tests, she was telling the truth.

Which begged the question...where was Harry Potter? And why hadn't he come to reclaim his fortune yet? The goblins assured the Ministry that he was not only alive, but thriving and stronger than ever. But even they refused to say where the boy was.

Which left only one option. Dumbledore was tired of the Minister's requests to produce their savior.

He turned to his phoenix. Fawkes was not truly bound to him, as many assumed. Fawkes was bound to the school itself. He followed his requests mostly because of the position that Dumbledore held as the headmaster.

"Find him before the World Cup, Fawkes. We cannot allow him to remain hidden forever."

Dumbledore laced the letter with a portkey that would take the person who opened it to him. Fawkes would only allow Harry to remove it...

* * *

For an entire week, while Jiraiya worked with Naruto on his water walking and summoning, Haru terrorized the local lakes. His first and favorite victim was of course, Sakura Haruno.

When a ball of flame appeared, Haru popped out of the lake in curiosity.

"What the hell?"

The bird (which was obviously a phoenix) appeared, it landed carefully on Haru's arm. It had a strange letter on it that set his shinobi senses off. Haru allowed the bird to land on his arm, and took off the letter. His face looked highly confused.

"You got the wrong person. Whoever this Potta Hari is, he isn't here."

The bird chirped, and pushed the letter towards him again.

"I'm telling you, I'm not him."

The bird seemed very insistent.

"Fine, but I still say you have the wrong person," said Haru.

He took the letter off, and threw it in the lake. He wasn't going to get into trouble for opening a letter that wasn't even his. There was a flash of light from the lake and the letter vanished.

The bird saw the look Haru was giving it. He wasn't happy, as he reached for his new sword.

"You have three seconds before I skewer you bird," he said flatly.

The bird chirped, the burst into flames and vanished.

"...Was that a phoenix?" asked Jiraiya.

"If it was, the next time it shows up I'm killing and eating it. I don't care if it is sacred to Suzaku," said Haru.

"What was the deal with the letter?"

"No idea. Something tells me an outsider just tried to kidnap me."

"The outside? You can't be talking about the myth of a barrier that separates our world with another created by the Sage of Sixth paths!" said Jiraiya. Everyone knew it was a myth.

Haru gave him a look.

"Most civilians outside this village would call the Bijuu a myth. Hell, anywhere else other than Konoha, the very identity of a jinchuriki would be one of the best kept secrets! Yet right beside you is a boy who not only contains the Kyuubi no Yoko, but actually uses it's chakra," said Haru.

"...I hate it when you make a valid point. But why would an Outsider be so interested in you?"

"...Possibly because I was never born in the Village Hidden in the Mist, let alone the Land of Water..."

Jiraiya paused at that sentence, and gave Haru a very long look. It was true the boy was highly unusual for a shinobi (some of which had already been explained by the Hokage, like his large chakra reserves) but nothing that really grabbed at him and refused to let him go.

Haru sat on a rock (created by a mild jutsu) and glared at him.

"Go ahead and ask," he said annoyed.

"How do you know you're from the Outside?"

Haru held up a hand and counted off the reasons.

"One, my skin is paler than an Uchiha. Two, my eyes hold a gem like quality that extremely few people who go into shinobi careers possess. Three, I somehow have the ability to go into Haku's Demonic Ice Mirrors, which is something even Zabuza can't do and Haku has no idea how I can. Four, I have some sort of weird ass power that allows me to turn into a full on shark, complete with teeth and fins. And Five, because the voice inside my head informed me that was the main reason it chose to seal itself in me," said Haru, ticking off the numbers.

Both of the Konoha nin stared at him.

"What?"

"Your voice in your head told you the only reason it chose you was because you were from the Outside."

"Yeah, so what? Naruto could talk to tall, red and fuzzy if he felt like it," said Haru pointedly.

Naruto snickered. Then he gave Haru a look.

"So you're..."

"Like you? I have a third of the tails your furry friend has, and according to seaweed breath...**(OI!)**...the bijuu have the ability to change their forms permanently, but it costs them a few abilities and a summon set."

"Hold on a minute. If you have a third of the tails, that would mean your the bearer of the Sanbi, correct?"

"What's your point?"

"The Sanbi is currently inside a Kiri nin named Mizuno."

"According to the other voice in my head, he left about a third of his chakra behind in a fake shell to keep the Kiri Shinobi off his ass and to keep his presence a secret. Something about an Uchiha screwing over his last host," said Haru dismissively.

_'Well that at least confirms one rumor I've heard...'_ thought Jiraiya.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because A, I could care less about him and have yet to need his chakra. And B, the main reason why we get along so well is because I don't make a big deal or demand that he give up his chakra every time I fight. Sometimes the biggest Ace is one no one expects you to have, and that is something I sure as hell don't plan to let anyone else learn of."

"You mean like your Byakugan?" asked Jiraiya.

Haru shook his head.

"While I can perform Jyuken and can see someone's tenketsu like my cousin, it simply doesn't fit into my natural fighting style. I'm pretty sure that goes for Hinata as well, because I've noted her body type doesn't really suit the Gentle Fist style at all. I don't use my kekkei genkai because frankly I have yet to come across an opponent that requires those skills. In case you haven't noticed, I've been stuck doing D ranks for years now, and the only reason my skills haven't atrophied is because I only do a single mission a day before I go out to train my ass off," said Haru.

"How is it you know the Gentle Fist? Last I heard the Hyuga clan refused to claim you," said Jiraiya.

"Neji taught me, and I helped him iron out the details in his Kaiten. While most of the Hyuga refused to acknowledge the fact I have the Byakugan, Neji, Hizashi and Hinata at least greet me on the street."

"Any idea how you're going to pass the first round?"

Haru cackled, and held up his newest creation. It was a glowing sword that made odd noises when it moved in the air, like the sound of several small thunder cracks.

"You actually completed it?"

"Nope. This is a prototype. It has the light part down, but the wind element doesn't want to cooperate. It sucks because lightning and wind are the two elements that are opposite of mine. I have to use seals just to get it to even work."

"Can I try?"

"Sure. You can have this one, and claim you made it."

"Where are you going?"

"Me? I'm going to train with Hinata-chan for a while. Just make sure that no one knows it's a prototype I gave you," said Haru waving them off.

* * *

Dumbledore frowned when Fawkes returned. He didn't have Harry, but the letter was clearly missing.

"Where is he?" he asked.

The phoenix screeched at him.

"What do you mean you were nearly killed by the boy? What happened?"

Fawkes tried to peck Dumbledore's eyes out while he screeched.

"He knew we were trying to retrieve him by force? And he didn't take it kindly?" said Dumbledore, translating what little he knew of bird speech as Fawkes looked rather pissed at him.

Finally Dumbledore had the bird by the claws.

"Can you at least take me to where he is?"

Fawkes squawked in agreement.

* * *

Haru was grinning evilly. Thanks to the fact he had gotten to Jiraiya before anyone else, he now had the seals he needed to make a lightsaber. Plus, thanks to Naruto's henge, he had gotten his hands on a Hatake blade. He had three of them, each with different seals on it. If he could get them to work, he was handing it to Tenten to recreate.

Unfortunately it had taken all of the month he had been given till the first round in order to get this done. His evil cackling was worrying the neighbors.

"Hey Tenten! Got a minute?" yelled Haru.

"In the back!" she replied.

Haru practically skipped to the back, which freaked out the customers in the front.

"Guess what _I_ got," he sang.

"You mean to say...YOU COMPLETED IT?!"

"Stage one!" he said proudly.

The twin cackles of the two sent shivers down Tenten's grandfather. Haru handed her three different swords, each with a different seal on the hilt.

"Let's see!"

"For our first test is the wind-enhanced sword! Able to cut anything!" said Haru, holding out the sword to her. Tenten went out back and channeled chakra into the blade, causing it to glow an unearthly white. She cut through the hard rock like butter. All that was missing was the sound of the sword.

"Our second test, lightning enhancement! Guaranteed to cause burns and cut through things, though the sparks don't act like they are supposed to," said Haru, handing her the next. This also cut the boulder, but the cut itself wasn't as clean as they liked.

"And our final applicant, the fire seal. Acts like acid, cuts like a charm, and it works well with wind seals," said Haru.

"Why didn't we think of this before! Lightning is too unpredictable, but fire acts perfectly! And they don't counter act each other!" said Tenten.

"Plus they work well together. Wind works with fire, but not lightning," said Haru.

"So we just need to combine fire and wind, maybe add a sound seal..." said Tenten. Her inner fan girl was having kittens at this point.

"We do have a slight problem though..." said Haru.

"The minute we put this into a field test, the Hyuuga will descend on us intent on taking all out notes and prototypes and destroying them, then erase our memories of any progress we've made," said Tenten. She knew. Neji had been talking about it to Gai-sensei and didn't realize she was nearby.

"We need to find a place to leave our spares so they can't steal them. Hell, I've even started a diary about this project and hidden it!" said Haru.

"And tomorrow is the last part of the Chunin exams. They might take that time to ruin our progress," said Tenten.

"Unless something happens. In any case, pick one of the prototypes I gave you and keep it sealed on you at all times. I'll keep one of the others and we'll hide the last one."

"Hand me the fire sword. You can take wind," said Tenten.

"Good point, but I'll have to use water chakra in order for it to work. Earth doesn't like wind after all," said Haru.

* * *

Haru was reading a book on seals when the proctor decided to call the time. Dosu wasn't showing up, which meant that one of the matches would have to be skipped over. Shikamaru would have to fight whoever won the match between Naruto and Tenten.

In other words he would have to beat Naruto.

Haru went up with the rest while Haku turned Kin into a pin cushion. He only paused to eat the cup ramen he had brought with him. Naruto had his own beside him, which was why he wasn't making puppy dog eyes at his brother.

Beside Haru was a large scroll full of smaller scrolls. He had a prank to play, and by kami he was going to play it!

"Remember brat, if I say quit, then you quit. No exception," said Genma.

"I must prove my existence..." said Gaara.

"I wasn't talking to you red, I was talking to him," said Genma.

Gaara looked at his opponent. Haru was cackling evilly in a way that should have sent shivers down his spine. Instead it gave him a shiver of anticipation.

"Prepare to be fuzzy, tanuki kid!" grinned Haru.

"FIGHT!"

Gaara's sand didn't waste time. Haru was quick to dodge the sand attacks, while undoing one of his quick seals. Finally he darted in towards Gaara, avoiding the spikes.

"FUIN!" (SEAL!)

A large black pattern appeared beneath Gaara, freezing him and his sand. One would think that Gaara could overpower a normal seal, but this was specially made to paralyze jinchuriki and their chakra.

Haru cackled evilly, as he walked up to Gaara. The boy was clearly terrified now that he couldn't move. None of his sand would protect him.

"Mwahahaha! Prepare to suffer my boredom, container of the Ichibi!" cackled Haru. He took out a small brush and began to paint on Gaara's face. The boy was still paralyzed when Haru activated his second seal.

Everyone stared. Gaara was...furry.

"Mwhahaha! Introducing Gaara the Ewok!"

The reaction was slow at first, but soon you could hear someone laughing their ass off. Haru looked up at the contestants booth to see Naruto on the ground pounding the floor.

Tenten was beside him giggling as well. It was hard not to.

"Haru...why did you create a seal that forces people into Ewok costumes?" asked Haku.

"Because Ewoks are cute and furry, thereby ruining the big bad ninja's credibility. Besides, Sasuke's massive fan girl horde pays me good money to make it for them," shrugged Haru.

Sasuke, who heard that comment yelled out "I'll pay you triple to give me the counter seal!"

Haru's cackling sent shivers down the spines of everyone there. Just as a rain of feathers began to appear, knocking everyone out if they didn't counter the genjutsu.


	11. Chapter 11

Haru was grinning evilly as he cut through enemy ninja like butter. His new sword worked like hoped and thanks to a few sound seals sounded exactly like they should.

His cackling caused more than a few Suna nin to cut and run. They had more sense than the Sound shinobi.

More than a few people stopped to stare when Haru's _special_ seals went off. Naruto used his clones to great use as they activated Haru's seals.

One minor side effect of the Ewok seal (as it was called) was that the costume restricted movement for exactly one minute. More than enough time for the ANBU to deal with them.

(Also more than enough time to hogtie a certain heir with chakra restricted ropes. Yet another reason why Sasuke wanted Haru to give him the counter seal.)

Haru was about to leave the stadium when he notice the barrier.

Haku was already there, waiting.

"The Hokage is trapped by Orochimaru. I can't form my mirrors inside...not enough water and the air is too arid for moisture."

"So you need water, and a way in, right?" said Haru.

"Where are we going to get water?"

"Leave that to me. Get ready to move!" said Haru. Naruto had already left to deal with Gaara, who had been freed of his joke seal.

From the way things were going, he would likely try to release Shukaku.

"Kirigakure no jutsu!"

A thick mist filled the area, particularly inside the barrier. It was strange though. The mist had an odd sea green quality...at least to the Hokage and Orochimaru.

Thanks to the density and chill of the mist, Haku was able to create mirrors inside. The two of them jumped from the one in front of them to the one inside.

Sarutobi looked at the two in surprise. The mist had a hallucinogenic power. He wasted 2 kunai on shadows before he realized that there was nothing there. Then again, reports said the Sanbi had that ability to create illusions in the mist. Clearly the bijuu hadn't lost that ability in the change.

Orochimaru, however, didn't have that information. He just assumed it was genjutsu.

So it was with great surprise that a shark hit him. An honest to kami shark.

That was when the cackling started. Shivers went down his spine.

"_May the Force be with you!"_

And with it, a massive wave of water hit him like a brick wall. In that water was a beast made of killing muscle and razor sharp teeth. Nature's perfect killing machine.

A fully grown great white shark.

Orochimaru had only seen one in pictures, and had briefly considered catching one. However the creature proved illusive.

He shot a powerful lightning jutsu at the thing, hoping to fry it before it got too close.

Instead it went right through.

For some odd reason, the water seemed to keep pooling up instead of going off the roof like it should. Orochimaru assumed the barrier was keeping it inside. He hadn't kept track of the first three water jutsu used, so it was natural he didn't keep track of this.

For the next five minutes, Orochimaru was plagued by all manner of horrifying sea monsters. It was only when he saw the Megalodon (which he knew was extinct through his research into great white sharks) that he realized that he was in a very elaborate genjutsu. It took him ten dispels and a kunai through the leg before the damn thing broke.

And he found himself almost surrounded. He ditched his shinobi and ran like hell.

By that time Naruto had already subdued Gaara (sans Ewok outfit) and the invasion was almost over.

There was one small hitch however, though it had nothing to do with Orochimaru or anyone associated with him...

* * *

Haru was giving off some seriously angry vibes when they escorted the foreigner in. It was simple to understand _why._

He recognized the oversized chicken on the old geezer's shoulder.

Hiruzen Sarutobi had already promoted Haru, Haku, Tenten, Naruto and Shikamaru for their actions during the invasion. Thanks to Haru's infamous Ewok seals, they had captured a good amount of Sand and Sound Shinobi, including the Sound Four (one of which turned out to be an Uzumaki). Needless to say Anko and Ibiki were ecstatic to have so many...volunteers...

"Now, would someone mind explaining why in the name of Amaterasu there is an Outsider in the village?" he asked.

Everyone looked at the colorblind old man. He was worse than Naruto was at stealth before he learned to compensate for the bright orange outfit.

"I _am_ here_ for_ Harry_ Potter,_" he said in heavily broken Japanese. His accent was atrocious and his word choice made translation very difficult.

Sarutobi sighed. This was going to be a total pain. Which was why Jiraiya slapped a language seal on the senile old man. It was one of the few seals that he knew off hand because of the Toad elders. Once that activated, the old man winced.

"That was most unpleasant."

"Thank kami. Now, who are you and why are you here?" Hiruzen repeated.

"I am here to locate Harry Potter. My familiar told me he was in this area," said the old man.

"If he's a civilian, you are welcome to have him provided he agrees. If he's a shinobi, then you'll have to hire him like everyone else. I am not about to let someone kidnap a perfectly able shinobi when we need all hands on deck to clean this mess up," said Hiruzen flatly.

And he meant all hands. He was going to have to recall every shinobi he could just to run missions until the village was in a workable state. Not to mention the fact that he needed someone to deal with the hospital because of all the injuries that had occurred, dealing with the civilian council over repairs and restricted budgets... it was a mess and he could almost literally see the paperwork multiplying on his desk.

It was almost enough to break the man. Instead he just looked ready to cry.

"Okay, before this goes any further, why the hell do you assume I would agree to leave with you after you tried to kidnap me with that overgrown parakeet?!" demanded Haru.

Sarutobi looked at Haru.

"You're the one he's after?" he asked.

"If his attempted kidnapping is any indication..."

The old man coughed.

"I had hoped that I could use a port key to bring you to me and explain things," he said.

"You mean you wanted to force me to follow your lead in order to get home. Even though that secondary power of mine is what kept me alive all these years."

"That power is your magic."

"I know what it's called, but I don't care. If you want me to go to your country on a mission, you have to pay just like everyone else," said Haru flatly.

* * *

A few days later, Haru was off on missions with Haku. The old man (Dumbledore) was busy trying to work out a schedule so he could arrange for Haru to come to his school. Something about him being the Boy-Who-Lived or some nonsense.

Naruto and Jiraiya were off to get Tsunade in hopes she would either take over the hospital or better yet, the Hokage Hat.

Luckily they were mostly doing an escort mission to an ally village, namely Kusa.

The lone Genin left from the exam had finally been cleared to return, after her teacher got arrested for a bar fight and ended up dead during the invasion.

Her name was Karin. She got along with Haku famously.

"Wait, so let me get this straight. You not only know where Uzushiogakure was, you used to live there?! By any chance is your last name Uzumaki?"

"My mother's was," said Karin.

"I'll be damned. Naruto will be thrilled to hear that. He thought he was the last one," said Haru.

"HUH?!"

"Remember that loudmouth blond kid from the exam? His last name is Uzumaki!"

"Wait, so that would make him..."

"Your cousin, at the very least. Naruto will be thrilled...he's always wanted a cousin and all he had was me acting like his older brother," said Haru.

"Who was his mom?"

"According to the Hokage, Uzumaki Kushina."

"THAT BRAT IS RELATED TO THE PRINCESS OF WHIRLPOOL?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!" Karin screeched.

"Kushina was a princess?" said Haku surprised.

"She was next in line as heir to the clan. She was sent to the Leaf to make sure she lived to take her position as Clan Head, but the village was attacked shortly after," said Karin.

"Hmm... Wonder if we can con the old man into letting us keep you... Probably have to do his paperwork until Tsunade returns, but that would be a small price to pay to keep family..." muttered Haru.

"You do the paperwork, I continue missions?" said Haku.

"That would work."

* * *

Aside from having to do a hellish amount of paperwork and fabricate the lie that Karin had died on the way back to Kusa (along with the agreement to go in disguise in order to get her things) Haru thought he got off light.

After all, the Hokage could have forced him to go on that stupid mission to Scotland as 'undercover guards' without Naruto or Haku, who he had picked as his backup.

Considering that was the worst lie he had ever heard just to get him to attend a school he had little to no interest in...

Let's just say Haru planned to give them hell and leave it at that.

Nearly two weeks later Jiraiya and Naruto returned, Tsunade in tow.

To the relief (Hokage) and delight (Haru) of certain ninja, she had agreed to become Hokage.

It also meant Haru had to get ready for this half assed mission to the Outside. Haru was not looking forward to this. Not one bit.

* * *

"Why are we here again?" asked Naruto. Thanks to the language seal Jiraiya slapped on the four of them (Tsunade sent Karin in order to keep up the ruse she had been killed on route to Kusa) they didn't have to muddle through poor translation charms.

Haru would have brought Hinata, but Tsunade had snatched her up on Haru's suggestion in order to piss of Hiashi and the elders. He had noted during their spars that the girl was unusually gifted with medical chakra. She was better than Sakura.

Haru sneezed twice.

"We are here to let the seal settle before we head to the school in order to catch up to three years of 'magic' training. Our cover is transfer students, but we are to act as guards for the year," Haku said patiently. Karin sneezed in unison with Haru.

"I know that, but why did they choose _us_? I mean we aren't the best people to guard other kids..." said Naruto, displaying a small amount of intelligence on his part.

Haru sneezed again. Something about the air set him off. Maybe he had allergies...

Haku finally took pity on him and handed him the standard medicine shinobi were given for allergies. Five minutes he was finally breathing without sneezing. Karin took a few after he did.

"We're hear because that senile old geezer picked us specifically. Otherwise someone better _would_ have been sent. Just be glad we brought out own tent..."

Haru had seen the look the old man had given him when he offered tickets to this event. Haru wanted to limit the amount of aid he got from that weirdo.

Haku and Karin had their own.

* * *

Haru barely resisted the urge to cackle as Naruto had in the span of ten seconds managed to get the attention of everyone in the top box. Apparently not knowing this...sport...was tantamount to a sin in the eyes of these people. He shared a knowing eye roll with the petite pale blond woman with interesting eyes.

She clearly had no love of the sport and had been dragged to this event by force.

Naturally Haru chose to sit next to her, to the annoyance of her husband.

Naruto and Karin enjoyed the game, though Haru got bored with it in five minutes. Which was why he discreetly talked to the blond (whose name was Narcissa) about more interesting subjects. She seemed quite pleased to be able to ignore the game, even if the longer they talked, the more pissed her husband became.

Had he been able to hear exactly what they were really talking about, he would have quickly gone from pissed to murderous. As it was, Haku barely refrained from slapping her boyfriend.

When it ended, he got a grin from Narcissa, when he said "FINALLY! That torture is over!"

Everyone else gave him the evil eye because of how little interest he showed in the sport.

Though the after party was more interesting in his opinion. He managed to convince Haku to a threesome with the blond woman he had chatted with all throughout the game.

All Haru could think was...

"Thank Kami for Shadow Clones!"

* * *

The trio woke up to screams. Narcissa took one look at the attackers and snorted.

"My idiot husband got drunk again..."

"Any complaints if I kick his ass?" said Haru.

"None from me, though our son might bitch about it," snorted Narcissa.

Haru grinned...and then went to find Naruto.

"What's that?" asked Karin warily.

"The strongest coffee available in Konoha. A quadruple espresso with three caffeine shots and one chakra pill."

"...Who the hell could survive that?!" asked Karin.

Naruto and Haru looked at each other before saying in unison...

"The 3rd Hokage."

"Old Man Hokage tends to drink these after one of our pranks. It's the only way he can survive the night while doing paperwork," said Haru.

"We can make the old man cry in five minutes flat. By the way, how the hell did you get that? I though the old man banned us from so much as looking at that stuff."

"Bribed him with a full week of no pranks to be claimed at any time. Which means he can ban us from a target for a full week."

Naruto and Haru cackled together evilly.

"Now Naruto, do you see where this is going?" said Haru.

"Treetops are the safe zone," he said grinning.

"Karin, you better follow us. It won't be safe here once that stuff hits his stomach."

Haru warned a few others to take to the sky. Unfortunately that warning didn't get out in time for some. They still took to the air quick enough once the caffeine hit.

There was an orange blur all around the field, and the bodies of the idiots who tried to cause a panic began to pile on the ground.

"Dear kami that boy is a nightmare..." said Haku.

"What is that?" asked Narcissa.

"My little brother. Imagine a first year with the inability to sit still filled with pepper up potions, sugar and coffee and you get Naruto."

"...So what did you pump him with?"

"The world's strongest caffeine legally available. Naturally this turns him into a blur of unstoppable energy."

"And here come the Aurors... Late, as usual," sneered Narcissa.

"Your husband down there?" asked Haku.

"Most likely. Can't wait to see how he gets out of this mess."


	12. Chapter 12

Haru was not a happy camper. Because of a minor error in his paperwork (he suspected their 'client' to be the culprit) he was stuck in 4th year when he had already tested into fifth, according to the age groupings. Haru only put up with it because it meant he would be sharing the same classes as Naruto and the others.

Though he was going to make damn sure that the old cat-woman McGonagall didn't call up the name Harry Potter. Luckily the Sanbi was more than happy to cast the genjutsu. Besides, it's not like the senile wizard would realize what he did until it was too late anyway.

On the plus side, Hinata had been sent in by Hiashi to quote "Keep him from tarnishing the Hyuuga name" end quote. Haru knew full well Hinata had magic...she occasionally made things explode from her pent up emotions.

* * *

"Hyuuga, Hinata!"

"**HUFFLEPUFF!"**

"Momochi, Haku!"

"**RAVENCLAW!"**

Haru quickly cast the genjutsu under his robes. No one saw the movement.

"Uzumaki, Haru!"

"**SLYTHERIN!"**

"Uzumaki, Karin!"

"**RAVENCLAW!"**

"Uzumaki, Naruto!"

"**GRYFFINDOR!"**

Dumbledore frowned. He specifically told that old piece of fabric to put the boy in Gryffindor. And why had McGonagall said Haru Uzumaki when he clearly remembered putting down Harry Potter?

* * *

For the first couple of months since the sorting, Haru was bored out of his mind, acting like a normal student. So were the others, though Hinata finally got the courage to confess to Naruto after Haru slipped something in her drink one afternoon. It still amazed him that out of all the other Hyuuga, only Hinata had enough magic to attend.

Then again she spent the most time around Haru, aside from Neji of course, so maybe being around him for a prolonged period unlocked it?

Then again, according to their 'client', things were going to pick up shortly after Naruto's birthday. Something about a tournament between schools. Haru didn't particularly care, as he just had his henged clones do his homework and look up runes while he worked on his secondary (and according to the Hyuuga clan far less terrifying) hobby.

Haru liked fireworks, and ever since coming to Konoha, had been learning how to make his own. So far he was an expert in homemade explosive tags (another source of income for him, as he sold them to the ANBU through Tenten), but he had little luck making fireworks.

Then Naruto introduced him to a pair of twins named Fred and George. Once they got over their initial distaste for all thing Slytherin, their cackles sent shivers down the spines of anyone who heard them.

Then there was Hogsmeade village. As tranquil and peaceful as it was, it had little action and didn't appeal to Haru at all. He tended to spend those weekends near the lake. He had scared more than _one_ muggleborn when they saw the distinct fin and shape of a great white shark.

To his eternal amusement, he learned of the movie _Jaws_ and started to drag empty plastic barrels behind him just to see their reaction.

According to Hogwarts grapevine, he had terrified many of they students so badly that they no longer dared to come close to the lake.

Naruto still laughed about that.

* * *

Haru had several clones henged as Naruto, Haku, himself and the twins. Once the other schools did their performance, Haru would place Dumbledore under a triple layered genjutsu and they would do their own performance. They had been setting this up for an entire month, ever since Haru had finally gotten the ingredients they needed.

His parents account was very useful in getting illegal amounts of black powder, among other things.

Dumbledore was about to draw his wand when Haru activated the illusion.

As far as anyone knew, Dumbledore was there the entire show. In reality Haru used a replacement jutsu on him and directed everything through radios.

"And now, some of our students would like to give us all a show! Boys, if you would?"

The shrill sound of the first firework drew everyone's attention to the ceiling. Haru had theorized that since it was charmed to show the night sky, then it would be perfect for fireworks.

Bursts of color, magical creatures made of flames and chemicals...everyone loved the show. And then there was the grand final, one of Haru's best.

A blast of color like a miniature rainbow cleared the sky (think of a Sonic Rainboom like in _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic _and you get the general idea) to the applause of everyone.

Haru (real one, as the clone was in place of Dumbledore...not like anyone noticed) and the others walked in to the cheers of the students, both local and foreign. Even the other headmasters were impressed by the display.

Naturally the twins were hamming it up.

'Dumbledore' beamed at them before giving them each twenty points. Surprisingly enough, the counters actually allowed it, even if it wasn't the real headmaster.

* * *

Haru was half asleep on guard duty (none of the shinobi trusted something like an Age Line to keep the determined idiots out, especially if a teacher tried to pull something) when he noted someone who wasn't supposed to be there near the cup.

A single kunai brought the infiltrator short.

"Who's there?" he barked.

Haru came into the light. It was Moody, or someone who was trying to act like him. He grinned. Perhaps this year wouldn't be boring after all.

A brief scuffle, and Haru had the man hogtied with Moody's wand in his hand. He took the flask the fake always had on him and took a sniff. Whatever it was, it stank to high heaven to his shinobi senses. Before he took a sip (to insure that it wasn't alcoholic or poison, he conferred with the Sanbi to insure he lived through any effects of the potion.

One of the side effects to being a Jinchuriki was that they filtered a lot of crap out of the host's system. Only the extremely potent or anything geared towards harming them would do any damage.

He took barely a cap full, but that was enough to take effect. Finding himself as a Moody double was not how he wanted to spend the night. A quick set of clones, and they were hobbling off to see Snape.

"_THIS HAD BETTER BE LIFE THREATENING OR SO HELP ME I WILL TURN YOU INTO POTION INGREDIENTS!"_ roared Snape. Tonight was his night off patrol, so being woken out of a sound sleep naturally pissed him off.

Seeing two Moodys and a trio of Haru however stopped any murderous tendencies rather quick.

"What in blazes is going on here?!"

The first Moody handed him a familiar flask, though he wobbled a bit with the support of the Haru clone.

Snape took a sniff.

"Polyjuice?"

"Found this idiot trying to tamper with the goblet. Decided to bring him here to you since you're the only teacher in this damn school with any sense," said the first Moody flatly.

"And who are you?" demanded Snape.

"Uzumaki Haru. Took a sip of that crap to see what effects it has. Coincidentally, how long will this last? Having only one leg is highly irritating."

"How long ago did you drink it?"

"About ten, fifteen minutes ago."

"Come sit in here for another 45, and you'll return to normal. What about him?" said Snape promptly.

"I put his lying ass under an illusion. Once this crap wears off we can decide what to do with him."

Snape smirked coldly. Anyone who ruined his night was going to be his next test subject unless circumstances forced him otherwise.

And he had quite a few experimental potions he wanted to force feed to idiots.

Half an hour later, Snape was staring at the still unfocused face of Barty Crouch Jr.

He swore...now he would have to turn the fool over instead of making him suffer horribly. Haru took note of those curses...they were rather creative.

Once the Polyjuice in Haru's system ran it's course, Snape floo'd the Aurors. Amelia Bones, aunt to Susan Bones of Hufflepuff (and one of Hinata's dormmates) arrived to deal with the Death Eater.

Because the madman was still under genjutsu, he didn't put up a fight until he was far, far from the castle. He wouldn't be Haru's problem anymore either.

* * *

A few days later, Haru was staring blankly at Dumbledore, who had just read his name out of the cup. Something Haru thought he had prevented by exposing the fake Moody and helping the real one out of his own trunk.

Apparently the Death Eater was better at slight of hand than Haru would have given him credit for.

Karin poked him with a senbon, since as a rule all three Uzumaki's tended to eat together at meal times. Hinata too, since she and Naruto had finally started to date.

"No and hell no! I am not getting dragged into this mess! This stupid thing is bound to be dead boring!"

As Haru proceeded to call Dumbledore every name under the sun (Snape was taking notes for later) someone finally had the sense of mind to knock him out cold and drag his ass to where the others were waiting.

That person was Naruto.

Needless to say Snape was very amused and planned to give both boys a cookie for that rather entertaining show. The look on Dumbledore's face was hysterical! The pinched one on McGonagall for the amount of creative swears that boy launched in the span of exactly ten seconds, even more so.

Though like Snape, Flitwick had taken notes of the swears used for later use.

"Ok, who the hell hit me and how do they want to die," growled Haru.

He spotted a grinning Naruto and deadpanned "I will ban you from ramen for a month. I am going to get the house elves to not give you any as punishment."

"No! Not my ramen!" cried Naruto with anime tears. It was hard enough suffering the house elves attempts at it! And Haru had control of the sealing scrolls they were in!

As one of the officials proudly came in, declaring Haru the fourth champion, he wisely shut his trap when Haru leveled a healthy dose of KI at him.

Haru did not suffer idiots, Naruto notwithstanding.

"First off, I would like to complain that I already caught the idiot responsible for putting my name in that cup a week ago. A convicted Death Eater was caught and arrested for infiltrating Hogwarts. I was a bit busy dealing with him, so I never noticed the paper go in. secondly I want it on record that any points I get should be given to Hufflepuff as Cedric is the only legitimate champion for Hogwarts. I have little to no interest in the house cup. If, however I do win, then any fame shall go to my home village rather than to the school. And for the record, Headmaster Dumbledore, I complained about the piss poor security around the cup before you even put up that half assed age line."

Snape nodded in agreement.

"I was witness to his complaints about the poor security. Haru pointed out that a teacher should have been present to witness any names placed in the cup to avoid an older student placing one of the younger years in as a prank."

"Do you really have such little faith in your own students?" asked Madam Maxime.

Haru looked at her and gave a respectful bow before speaking.

"Madam, I can point out a number of known pranksters and bullies in _Gryffindor_ alone. I can say with absolute honesty that I wouldn't put it past some of the more cold hearted students to put a younger student in just to watch them fail. And let's face it, this is the same school that produced You-Know-Who and his legion of terror."

McGonagall and Dumbledore bristled a bit at that comment. Snape tried not to snicker...Haru was quickly becoming his favorite student the way he riled those two up.

Eventually they were allowed to leave, but Snape went in with Haru to the dungeons in order to keep his Snakes from doing something idiotic, like antagonizing him.

* * *

Avery was about to start in on the foreigner when Snape cleared his throat. Absolute silence reigned.

"As you are no doubt aware, Haru Uzumaki has been picked as an unofficial fourth champion. What you do not know is that Haru is responsible for capturing an infiltrator sent to try and harm the other students. He brought this imposter straight to me and the man has since been thrown into Azkaban. Now before any of you try to harass Mr. Uzumaki, you should also know that he is not a supporter of Dumbledore or McGonagall. As he so kindly pointed out, any one of the older students could have put in someone else's name, particularly the Weasly twins as they are known pranksters."

Nott carefully raised his hand. Snape nodded at him.

"Sir, do you mean to say that you will stand by this...foreigner?" he said carefully.

"Considering he was standing guard at the cup to keep any one of you from being chosen unfairly, yes. I would like to see my Snakes display the _cunning_ that this house is supposed to be known for, rather than the baseless ambitions that seem to be rampant these past few years."

Draco stood up.

"This is the Slytherin house. Since one of our own was unjustly chosen, there is only one thing we can do, isn't there?"

Every Slytherin straightened up.

"Who are we?" Zabini began.

"We are proud Slytherins!" chanted the house.

"What do we do when one of our own is unjustly accused?" Draco called out.

"We stand up for our own, because no one else will!" they chanted back.

"And why do the other houses fear us?" said Pansy.

"We are sneaky, backstabbing bastards who only help if there is something in it for us, and damn proud of it!" they chanted back.

"No doubt the Gryffindorks will complain that a Slytherin is getting all the glory. But thanks to Haru, the Badgers will at least be on our side, to a point. Let's show them Hufflepuff isn't the only house in this school that will stand up for it's own, against all odds!" said Snape.

The Snakes cheered, and Haru felt oddly touched.

It was just like being back home in Konoha and someone had tried to discredit the Hyuuga clan through him. Instead of throwing him to the wolves, they backed him up.

* * *

"I still can't understand why you continue to hang out with that slimy Slytherin!" said Ron. Naruto glared at him.

He didn't like Ron much after seeing him all but bully Neville into sharing his homework.

"Because Haru happens to be my big brother, and to be fair I don't see what the big deal is anyway."

"They're Slytherins! They're nothing but evil!"

"What do you have to base this universal fact on?" demanded Naruto.

It was times like these that his actual intelligence shown through.

"They're _Slytherins_," said Ron, as if speaking to an idiot.

"That's all you got?" said Naruto.

"What more do I need?" countered Ron.

"You...are...an..._idiot_," said Naruto, turning away from the boy to go talk to Neville instead. As far as he was concerned, this argument was over.

Ron glared at Naruto like he had committed a grave crime against humanity.


End file.
